Ok I owe this style of writing to Valeria Rohde as I stole it from her IM post. Hers made me cry. I loved it so much! I hope you don't mind V, but ever since I read your report and then decided on this journey your dedication and inspiration has fueled me! You are my hero! Not some movie star, not some pro runner, but the woman who can do a super sprint tri and turn around a day later and decide to do an IM and freaking do it!
In late 2013 I read a post Ironman race report from a friend. She made me want chicken broth. She did not make me want to attempt an Ironman. A year later I would be on the mend recovering from a hip stress fracture, swimming laps and buying my first bike assuring Cory I would never race triathlons. A year after that I purchased my first road bike, Dexter, and attempted my first HIM 70.3. 2016, I did two HIM. The day after the second one I signed up for Chatt 144.6. 2017 Cory got me my first triathlon bike, Spector. I spent this whole time building up to Feb 2017 when I would start a 6 month training program that would hopefully finish with Mike Reilly telling me my dream had come true and I was an Ironman. It did. This is my story!
Thursday:
We are packed and heading out. I am having many doubts. It will be hot. I am worried about getting sick. We are stopping at a hotel in Kentucky. The Cubs are playing the Brewers and need a win. They get it in the 10th inning. YES! I am excited. I remember back to the World Series thinking that if the Cubs won after 100 plus years I could win an Ironman. I feels good knowing they just won a hard game.
Friday:
I slept ok. 7 hours. We wake up and have breakfast and I overhear an employee say that everyone that works there has been sick. Worries set in. I wish I didn't hear her. We head out for Chatt. We stop at a beautiful rest stop on the lake right before we hit town. We take pics. We immediately park and head to the expo since we can't check in to the hotel till 3pm and it is only 12. Ironman village is loaded with people and tents. I make my way through to pick up my package and visit the goody tent, we buy a couple shirts, Cory wants to buy me a finishers plaque, I don't want to jinx myself. We do lunch and walk around and head to the hotel. We change and go for a run. It is hot. I am going to die race day. We head back and eat dinner at the hotel and watch the Cubs. They win again! in the 10th! Yay more confidence.
Saturday:
I tossed and turned all night. Maybe 5 hours of sleep. I really needed 7-8. We hit Starbucks and head out with my bike and bags to take to check in and attend the athlete's meeting. I meet up with my friend Tina and just being around her and hearing about the course calms me. I feel better. We get some lunch and head back to the hotel. Cory takes off to bike and I get my aid ready and shower and sit down to rest and watch the Cubs. They lose. Damn. I needed that confidence. We go to a really great Italian restaurant and then head back to try to get an early night.
Sunday:
Pre Race:
I tossed and turned all night. Maybe 1.5 hours of sleep. I feel confident though. I can do this. OMG Is my hip hurting? Is that a sore throat? Time to go but I didn't poop. I head down to set up my aid at my bike and drop off special need bags. I meet up with Tina and her husband to get on the bus to go to the swim start. I kiss Cory goodbye and set out. We get there 2 hours early, There are seriously only THAT few potty's for 2000 plus people and their families. It smells and it is not the potty's. Is that the water that smells? I use the potty and head back to the line. We wait. And wait. It is 40 minutes pre race so I will eat my Honey Stinger Waffle. Pros are taking off. OMG do I have to poop now? No No I don't have time. OMG. Normal people are starting. I tell Tina that I can see the swim start now. We say goodbye to Tina's husband. I feel the dock on my feet. The announcer hugs me and telsl me it will be ok. Tina tells me it is Mike Reilly. I got hugged by Mike Reilly. (Who the hell is Mike Reilly?)
Swim:
I jump off the dock and I swallow a mouthful. I start to panic and the first canoe calls me over. I try to swim and I don't remember how to breathe under water. Panic. I keep trying and I don't know how. Second canoe person makes me come over to his. He tells me I need to wait 3 minutes and calm down. A wave hits and I swallow it. He makes me look at him and tells me to calm down. I am worried about the time. He tells me I need to calm down and I will have plenty of time and that I can do it. I calm down. I tell him I am ok. I take off and remember how to breathe. I swim awhile with no contact with another person. This swim is so spread out. It is awesome. I feel good, really good. Is that the island halfway point. OMG I am halfway?? I see the bridges!! I see the exit. They pull me out and I head to transition.
T1:
I grab my bag and head into the tent. I will do a full change. A volunteer grabs my bag and starts help me organize everything. She helps me change. She is an angel. I am all set. I try to eat a granola bar and get two bites down. I have heartburn. I take two tums. I also take my base salt. Ouch I have such bad heartburn. I hit the potty and head out to get my bike.
Bike:
Clipped in and heading out. Wow my legs feel so bad. Why do they feel so heavy? 2 miles and someone has already got a flat. I yell out asking if she needs anything and she doesn't. That has to be good karma. I won't flat since I asked. Oh shit knock on wood. I have no wood. Please don't flat. I still feel like my legs are heavy. Another person on the side of the road already?? I ask them they are good too super karma action going on here!
Mile 11: ok We should be starting the 2 loops. Why do I feel so tired. I need to keep drinking but my tummy feels like poo. I really can't stomach anymore of those waffles. I will eat all they other stuff first. I am really doing good with the drinking! I will have to pee by the halfway point. I bet my pee is not Miller Lite yet like Nick said I better drink more. What the fuck is with all these hills. I do not remember these in the HIM. What is this monster hill? This was definitely not in the HIM. Wow it is so pretty. Fuck You Hill. Fuck You. It really is pretty.
Mile 23-56: Did I really just see a mile 60 sign? That is just mean. Ok this is getting better. That was a nice downhill after that killer. I can do this. I am still drinking. Heartburn has kind of went away. I will try a honey stinger waffle again. Ok no. That was not good. Another person on the side of the road. I asked again and he said he needed a mechanic. Karma is working for me! Awe these down hills are giving me back my strength and confidence. There is that Chikimakawakawu town! I need to stop at special needs for some pain meds. My back hurts. Got them and a granola bar. Thank you volunteer! Back out. Man it feels nice having all these people cheer. I am smiling now. Yay. Seriously Mile 100 sign? Who does this shit? Ok not smiling anymore I feel tired again. I shouldn't have stopped. Oh wow down hill, major down hill time. I need to break holy craaaaaap. Another person on the side I ask if she is ok she is but needs a mechanic.
Second Loop:
Here we go hello hill time. At least I know what is coming this time.
Miles 58-75ish:
Fuck fuck fuck. Sorry mom but these hills. Oh so this time that mile 60 sign applies! I ask the person next to me if there were this many hills the first time. He agrees hills have grown since 9am. Where the heck are the down hills. Ouch. Cramp in my right foot. That feels like I am being stabbed. Need to adjust. OMG cramp in my left foot now I may need to stop and take off my shoe. I will stop at 80. No 90. I only have 16 miles after 90. Ouch it hurts. Another hill WTF. OMG I have 26 after 90 not 16. I will need to stop at 90. I think after this hill we finally go down hill again. Nope. No we do not another stupid hill has grown. Ouch foot.
75-100:
Ok I think this is the last big hill before down hills. YES. Coast!! Awe my foot is feeling better I will wait to 100. I need to switch out my aid bottles. Oops dropped an empty bottle. Ok another person on the side of the road. Karma karma karma. Wow she was not happy. Not nice to me for asking. That is why she is on the side of the road. I know now we have mostly down hills for the rest of the bike. I have been drinking so much I have to pee! Yay! I am hydrated! I am going to hold it till T2. I can. No stopping for my foot either it feels good. Where is that damn town though that I saw the 100 mile marker we have to be close. There it is! People all over the place still! Smile! HI everyone! 100 mile marker yay! 16 more to go!!
100-116:
Ouch foot ouch. I am definitely waiting till T2 now. Only 10 more miles. That is like an easy day. I see a guy walking his bike. Ask if he is ok and he is pissed. He is cramping. I ask if he wants some salt and he tells me he wants off the fucking bike. Yay me too buddy but I am being nice for karma! Wow, into town is seriously like coming off a mountain! A mountain I climbed at mile 5 when I was hurting but now this mountain is awesome! 5 miles and she is on the side of the road poor girl. I ask if she is ok and she glares at me. Understood girl understood. You should have thought about it earlier and asked people if they were ok though! KARMA! 4 more miles. If this was a regular Ironman I would be off the bike but NO this is a stupid Ironman. 3 more! I could ride like 50 more miles I really could. 2 more. I need off this god damn bike right now. 1 more mile! Wow I just started this ride didn't I?
T2:
Here take it I don't want it back. I will never ride that stupid thing again. For Sale. Really I have to bend down and grab my own bag? But.... Ok got it. I am walking to the tent this time. A lady grabs my bag from me. She starts to help me change and hands me my chips. I love this woman. She is the best friend I don't know. She asks if I want her to tie my shoes. Yes mommy. Wait no I need to do that myself because I know how tight I like them. Ok I need to use the potty and get going. Got my bib and stuff let's go!
Run:
Mile 1:
Hey! I feel damn good! Yay. Hi Cory I love you! I am feeling great! See you in a little bit! Oh shit a hill...
Mile 2-7ish:
Ok. That hill sucked ass. I am good now. It is hot. Water at the aid stations and a drink of coke. and salt. No more salt. No. I will take the chips instead. Is that music? That is not good music. Is that Santa or am I losing it? Nope that is definitely Santa. Funny joke huh? Because I am hot as hell people. Ok. Run now. This isn't so bad. It is pretty flat now. And shady. I will run 2 minutes walk 1 minute until it cools off. Does this bike path ever end. Mile 18 for real these people are just asshats with their teasing. I see the end to this bike path! And the end is a fucking steep hill. Oh hi Cory yep you bet I am walking up this hill!
Mile 8-12:
Ok time to cross the bridge and face Barton! OMG WTF F F F F F F F. Well I guess I am walking for a half mile up this mountain with houses. Is that a beer station? Who would want beer? Oh that guy does. DOWNHILL!!! Yes! I love to run down...NO OUCH why why make it stop. Oh good another up hill walk time. Oh wow that is a pretty house, or is that a country club! Pretty. Fuck another hill. Oh and back to do Barton the other way. I feel like Jack and Jill only the hill never gets to the pail of water. OK. Down hill time. Aid station on a down hill is just BULLSHIT. I am not wasting the down hill. Mile 12!!!! Hi Cory is that a beer? Well you deserve it. He takes a pic of me!
Mile 13-20:
ok round 2! 13 miles to go! I got this. Hell ya! It is cooling down! I am walking up this hill but I am going to run like the whole mile after. I did! I ran a long time. Ok only 4 minutes but wow. Mile 15 back at the north pole. Did he just say we only have 10 miles left. Only. Ok we only have 11 left asshat. Did he just say we only have our warm up left. I may punch Santa man. Only my ass. Ok run this and I am back on the never ending bike path. It is almost getting dark. A guy just told me I have a nice cadence! Thank you man!! Good thing he didn't see me on the bike! What the fuck is that smell. Oh me. Oops. I can run for 4 minutes again. I feel so good. Haha mile 18! This time I freaking love that sign! Is that Miley Cirus? Party in the USA! I am going to have that in my head for the rest of this damn race. Time to try some of that wonderful chicken broth. Yes chicken broth. OMG no. WTF V. That is disgusting. Never again. Spit. Yuck. Back to coke! Mile 20!!! There is my honey! Hi Cory! He won't see me again till the finish line! Love you!!
Mile 21-24:
Up Barton again. It feels better the second time. Someone knows me? Oh Tina! Yay!!! I will run with her till the end! OMG she is power walking. Tina you walk like my dad. There is the beer stand again. Still a big no. Tina and I will stay together and walk the hills and run the rest. OMG her power walking is tiring me. I hope I can keep up. Ok I think that was the last hill before Barton round 4. Nope forgot that one. I am actually happy for hills until I remember she power walks. Ok Barton! We are down hill running! Not stopping again at the down hill aid station.
Mile 25:
Tina tells me she will probably cry. I don't feel much. That's weird. We are going to walk up the bridge and then run the rest of the way in. We meet a guy on the bridge. He congratulates us! He is nice! Run time. I can't believe it less than a mile now! I feel good! Too good! Yay! I tell Tina she will cross the finish line first because she is older. She is worried about it but all I want to do is break 14 hours at this point. She finally lets me let her go first!
Finish Line:
I see the light! I hope it is the Ironman light and not the I am dying light. I feel great! I am not going to cry and that kind of upsets me. Why am I not more emotional? So many people are cheering us in! Wow I see the finish! I can't believe it. Tina takes off! I see Julie! I see Cory!!! Tina is through! Nicole Olmo, you are an Ironman! Tina ,you are an Ironman! Yes we are! And we did great!!!
The End.
Thanks everyone for supporting me and listening to me whine, complain, brag, and just talk about this Ironman!! Without family and friends we couldn't do what we all love!
Tuesday, September 26, 2017
Wednesday, August 30, 2017
My awful truth of training for 140.6
I woke up today in the middle of the first week of month 6 of my training plan for my Ironman. Wednesday. Brick day. Every Wednesday for the past 5 months has been Brick day. Just like every Monday is my day off, every Tuesday I have a long swim followed by an hour bike, every Thursday I have a long swim followed by an hour bike, Friday I have an hour run with an optionally long swim, Saturday I have my long ride/short run brick, Sunday long run. Ask me when I am 99 years old and I will most likely be able to still tell you this training plan. One of the things I cannot wait for is to wake up on a Tuesday and bike! Or say FUCK IT and not work out at all. That sounds so good. Pizza does too. I just ate too but that means nothing. Pizza. Yum.
So I was reading on this Women's Tri Facebook page and I saw a woman post about doing her 103rd Ironman. Say what? 103? What? NO. This lady is certainly insane. I mean I am trying to do math here, so if she is 60 and she started at 30, that is 103/30...3.43 a year. Yah screw that. I am doing 1. 1 and done. She must love herself. Or hate herself. Or love pizza. Because right now I am having both feelings about myself throughout any given day.
16 hours I am up a day. 14 of them I am thinking about the Ironman. The other 2 I am shoving my face with food and still most likely thinking about it. Everything I do is Ironman. I am so sick of the word I could scream. Most people can't wait to cross the finish line and here, "You, You are an Ironman." I can't wait to cross the finish line and kiss this part of my life goodbye. Part of me is obviously joking, but mostly I am not. You know at mile 20 of a marathon you swear to god you will never do another and then you cross the finish line and can't wait till your next one. Yah no. No way. I am so over this. I want to enjoy life again. This to me is not fun. For those of you that do multiple and enjoy it, well, you guys are freaking amazing. I have had moments where I hate my bike, my shoes, the wind, every single asshole that passes me, and mostly I hate myself. Yes myself. When I cry myself to sleep at night because I just can't even think about getting up for the fifth weekend in a row and biking over 80 miles and following it up with a marathon long run the next day, well I just hate myself for thinking I could do this.
This is real. This is me. I don't want any comments on how I am almost there and how I will enjoy the day. I may, I may not. All too often I read race reports and training reports and people tell you how much they grew, how much they loved training, loved the race. I am being 100% honest here in saying that most days I truly hate myself and hate that I am doing this. I hate the self doubt I have because I am still not sure if I can finish. It won't be till I cross that line either that I know I could. 4 months ago I had more confidence than I do now. I am tired, I am hungry, I want a date night with my husband, I want a night out getting drunk with my friends and not worrying about a workout the next day. I want to not be in my head overthinking everything, telling myself I can't do it, imagining injuries that aren't there, and feeling so exhausted I am terrified I will be sick for my next long workout.
I won't lie. This has been life changing for me. Just not all in a good way. Training is hard. Mentally and physically. I know some people do not do the training and still finish. What I will tell you is, especially over the past 3 weeks, the amount of hours I have put in while training has to be harder than the race. I know the race will be really fucking hard I know that so please, Ironman, do not misread me here. I am just saying training is a lot of the work in earning the title here. There have been days that I want to say NO. NO more. I wanted to Tuesday. I was so damn tired and felt so weak from the weekend but I got there and did my swim. I had to cut it a little short for safety reasons but I went and tried, and I ran my entire run after completely exhausted. If for some reason I do not finish, and it will have to take something major for me to not finish, they will have to drag me off the course, I will be more proud of myself than I have ever been. For so many reasons.
I am strong right now. I am not the fastest I have been. Hell no my running is so slow. But I can last. I can bike for 6-7 hours and turn around and run and feel ok. I can run the next day for 2-3 hours and feel ok. The biggest part is I know once I start I can do the training. I may freak out but once I am out there my body just does it. Some nights I lay in bed and have panic attacks but once I am out there I can do it. When I used to give up, now I go longer. What used to be my long days now are my short days.
I have gotten to know myself. 6 hours alone in the country, well you get into your own head pretty well. I know my strengthens and I know my weaknesses. I know what I am afraid of. I know what I want out of life. I have spent so many hours alone and had so much time to just think. I quit my job and I have not once regretted it. I worked for 3 years unhappy and for once I am not stressed about work, worried how other people are going to effect me. I am excited about the possibilities that are ahead. I am nervous about them, but I know no matter what it will be better.
I know that Cory and I can last through about anything. I know he is my rock when I am at my lowest. When I have told him I am giving up, that I am done he has brought me back and helped me through a sleepless night. When all the stress from work and all the stress from training was at it's worst and I couldn't handle it and we had night after night of fighting and misery, he was able to bring me back from almost giving up. I have had many people joke about Ironman breaking up marriages and it is no joke. It is hard. He is such a strong support for me. This isn't his dream. But he is letting me have my dream and giving up a lot of his own wants for it.
So this is not a completely bad blog. Parts of this have been great. The fact that I feel stronger and I know myself and I can eat an entire pizza by myself are all great. But I won't lie and sugarcoat it. This has been the hardest thing I have ever done and maybe I am not made for this. I will make it, I want it too bad to not and I have put my freaking ALL into this year that I am too stubborn to fail. So I will hear them say Nicole, You are an Ironman. Then I will walk away a better person and eat an entire pizza and drink 6 beers. And do I absolutely know I won't do this again? Well no. My training partner Aldo may one day say he is doing one and I may have a brain lapse and decide to do another because I am just stupid. But this has not been fun and games. This has been tough shit. It is almost there. Thank gosh. I thank all the people who have put there time training with me, or just listening to be vent,cry, complain, etc. It has helped me more than you will ever know. Sept 24 can not come and go fast enough! I am sure that day will be a day I will never forget!
So I was reading on this Women's Tri Facebook page and I saw a woman post about doing her 103rd Ironman. Say what? 103? What? NO. This lady is certainly insane. I mean I am trying to do math here, so if she is 60 and she started at 30, that is 103/30...3.43 a year. Yah screw that. I am doing 1. 1 and done. She must love herself. Or hate herself. Or love pizza. Because right now I am having both feelings about myself throughout any given day.
16 hours I am up a day. 14 of them I am thinking about the Ironman. The other 2 I am shoving my face with food and still most likely thinking about it. Everything I do is Ironman. I am so sick of the word I could scream. Most people can't wait to cross the finish line and here, "You, You are an Ironman." I can't wait to cross the finish line and kiss this part of my life goodbye. Part of me is obviously joking, but mostly I am not. You know at mile 20 of a marathon you swear to god you will never do another and then you cross the finish line and can't wait till your next one. Yah no. No way. I am so over this. I want to enjoy life again. This to me is not fun. For those of you that do multiple and enjoy it, well, you guys are freaking amazing. I have had moments where I hate my bike, my shoes, the wind, every single asshole that passes me, and mostly I hate myself. Yes myself. When I cry myself to sleep at night because I just can't even think about getting up for the fifth weekend in a row and biking over 80 miles and following it up with a marathon long run the next day, well I just hate myself for thinking I could do this.
This is real. This is me. I don't want any comments on how I am almost there and how I will enjoy the day. I may, I may not. All too often I read race reports and training reports and people tell you how much they grew, how much they loved training, loved the race. I am being 100% honest here in saying that most days I truly hate myself and hate that I am doing this. I hate the self doubt I have because I am still not sure if I can finish. It won't be till I cross that line either that I know I could. 4 months ago I had more confidence than I do now. I am tired, I am hungry, I want a date night with my husband, I want a night out getting drunk with my friends and not worrying about a workout the next day. I want to not be in my head overthinking everything, telling myself I can't do it, imagining injuries that aren't there, and feeling so exhausted I am terrified I will be sick for my next long workout.
I won't lie. This has been life changing for me. Just not all in a good way. Training is hard. Mentally and physically. I know some people do not do the training and still finish. What I will tell you is, especially over the past 3 weeks, the amount of hours I have put in while training has to be harder than the race. I know the race will be really fucking hard I know that so please, Ironman, do not misread me here. I am just saying training is a lot of the work in earning the title here. There have been days that I want to say NO. NO more. I wanted to Tuesday. I was so damn tired and felt so weak from the weekend but I got there and did my swim. I had to cut it a little short for safety reasons but I went and tried, and I ran my entire run after completely exhausted. If for some reason I do not finish, and it will have to take something major for me to not finish, they will have to drag me off the course, I will be more proud of myself than I have ever been. For so many reasons.
I am strong right now. I am not the fastest I have been. Hell no my running is so slow. But I can last. I can bike for 6-7 hours and turn around and run and feel ok. I can run the next day for 2-3 hours and feel ok. The biggest part is I know once I start I can do the training. I may freak out but once I am out there my body just does it. Some nights I lay in bed and have panic attacks but once I am out there I can do it. When I used to give up, now I go longer. What used to be my long days now are my short days.
I have gotten to know myself. 6 hours alone in the country, well you get into your own head pretty well. I know my strengthens and I know my weaknesses. I know what I am afraid of. I know what I want out of life. I have spent so many hours alone and had so much time to just think. I quit my job and I have not once regretted it. I worked for 3 years unhappy and for once I am not stressed about work, worried how other people are going to effect me. I am excited about the possibilities that are ahead. I am nervous about them, but I know no matter what it will be better.
I know that Cory and I can last through about anything. I know he is my rock when I am at my lowest. When I have told him I am giving up, that I am done he has brought me back and helped me through a sleepless night. When all the stress from work and all the stress from training was at it's worst and I couldn't handle it and we had night after night of fighting and misery, he was able to bring me back from almost giving up. I have had many people joke about Ironman breaking up marriages and it is no joke. It is hard. He is such a strong support for me. This isn't his dream. But he is letting me have my dream and giving up a lot of his own wants for it.
So this is not a completely bad blog. Parts of this have been great. The fact that I feel stronger and I know myself and I can eat an entire pizza by myself are all great. But I won't lie and sugarcoat it. This has been the hardest thing I have ever done and maybe I am not made for this. I will make it, I want it too bad to not and I have put my freaking ALL into this year that I am too stubborn to fail. So I will hear them say Nicole, You are an Ironman. Then I will walk away a better person and eat an entire pizza and drink 6 beers. And do I absolutely know I won't do this again? Well no. My training partner Aldo may one day say he is doing one and I may have a brain lapse and decide to do another because I am just stupid. But this has not been fun and games. This has been tough shit. It is almost there. Thank gosh. I thank all the people who have put there time training with me, or just listening to be vent,cry, complain, etc. It has helped me more than you will ever know. Sept 24 can not come and go fast enough! I am sure that day will be a day I will never forget!
Monday, July 17, 2017
Week 21....short and sweet like Ironman training....is not.
Last year I biked 80 miles for the first time. I remember I was a mix of emotions. Exhausted, proud, depressed. This past weekend I rode 122 for the first time and all I could think was how far I have come from last year. When I started out that ride last year I wasn't sure I would make 80. This year I was almost positive unless something went wrong with my bike, I would make my goal. One major change from last year in me, confidence.
I just started week 21 of my training program. Week 21 of 30. For those of you that have trained for a marathon you know most training plans for marathons are 16 weeks. The fact I have made it this far is enough to make me proud. I will cross that finish line! I have that confidence now. I didn't know that a month ago. And tomorrow I may think I can't do it. It has been a ride...and swim and run haha. I have questioned almost every day if I have enough to do this. At the beginning of this training most days I didn't think I did. But lately I have been thinking I have it. Maybe I am just too tired to worry, too tired to debate it in my head. But the more miles I put in the more I get to know myself, the more confident I get.
It is funny what swimming 2 miles a few times a week, biking hours after hours a week, or running on tired legs, all alone, will do for a person. Each week when I begin to think I can't do the next workout because I am exhausted I start it and realize I can do it. This Sunday I was pretty tired after my long bike. I laid in bed extra late debating if I had my long run in me. I started later than normal and it was hot, I was tired, I had to walk a little more than usual. But guess what, I got it done. It wasn't fast but it was confidence building and I think when you are training for an Ironman or Marathon that is one of the most important things. It is amazing what your body can do when you quit telling your mind you can't do it.
At the beginning of this journey Cory and I made a deal. This would be the year of my Ironman, and next year I wouldn't sign up for any major race so we could travel and enjoy summer without me worrying about training. Cory has been amazing, Even when I am exhausted, crying, yelling at him telling him he isn't there for me enough and I need more, and that I should just drop this goal he lets me get it out. This past weekend he put me first, like many, and did all the stuff around the house and ran all the errands on Saturday then took me out to dinner for me to just come right home and fall asleep. Then he worked all day Sunday and took me out for ice cream that night. He is letting me have this year and I could not do it without him.
I have missed out on going out with friends, I am having problems juggling my schedule with family related activities, work, and a tough training schedule. One of my friends has asked me several times to do things and every single time I have had a long workout. I know she is hurt, but this is me right now. I knew this from the start. I joke about how I am glad the Cubs won the WS last year because I can't stay up late to watch all the games and come September I will be too busy to watch most of them. I wanted to go to a real game, I wanted to go on a brewery tour, I wanted to go somewhere and hike....I just don't have the time this year.
So training long hours, not seeing friends and family, missing out on fun summer activities with my husband, being exhausted 99% of the time....well no one said training for an Ironman would be easy! I also never expected it to be. Popular quote, "If it was easy, everyone would do it." This week I get a small break because I planned around my family reunion. I am so excited for a whole Saturday off of working out. That does mean more working out longer hours on the other days but to have a whole Saturday off right now seems like a gift! After this weekend it is just crazy until taper time.
It will be here before I know it and then it will be done and will I miss it? I don't think I will. Right now I am thinking this will be a one and done. Could I change my mind, absolutely. At this point though it is a lot. It takes a lot of hours, a lot of dedication, a lot of sacrifice. It is completely time consuming. Many other Ironman say I will change my mind, maybe it is easier for them, I am not sure how it can be haha, especially some of my elite friends who train even harder than I do.
One thing I have been struggling with is people's view of what is an Ironman. I have heard people say if you don't get a certain time, like under 14 hours, or if you don't do a certain number of them, or if the swim gets cancelled that you aren't a true Ironman. I say fuck that. I say those people are mean. I have put some many hours into becoming strong enough to even sign up, to even step foot on the start line. If I finish under 16 hours 15 minutes and never do another tri event again in my life you know what, I am an Ironman. This has already been the most daunting thing I have ever done in my entire life and I feel anyone who does this deserves that title if they finish in the allowed time.
So week 21! I am in the 3rd stage! It is freaking real! 9 weeks. A little over 2 months. HOLY CRAP!!! What am I doing? What have I done? I can't wait for this crap to be done!! Look at this my only day off training during the week and I am wasting time talking about training!!
One last thing, through the tears, stress, sore muscles, lost time, hurt feelings, anxiety, and everything else I have never been more proud and impressed with myself. I feel in shape, I feel good, I feel like I can eat the entire fridge and be ok with it!! Tonight I am going to watch the Cubs, drink a beer, have a conversation with my husband, play Frisbee with Remy (inside it is too hot out.) Tomorrow I am going to get back up and continue to kick this Ironman training's ass and grow my confidence day by day. Who knows, maybe by the end of this training I will have finally figured out the question of who I want to be when I grow up :)- 144.6, here I come!! do I get extra points for going 4 miles longer?!?
I just started week 21 of my training program. Week 21 of 30. For those of you that have trained for a marathon you know most training plans for marathons are 16 weeks. The fact I have made it this far is enough to make me proud. I will cross that finish line! I have that confidence now. I didn't know that a month ago. And tomorrow I may think I can't do it. It has been a ride...and swim and run haha. I have questioned almost every day if I have enough to do this. At the beginning of this training most days I didn't think I did. But lately I have been thinking I have it. Maybe I am just too tired to worry, too tired to debate it in my head. But the more miles I put in the more I get to know myself, the more confident I get.
It is funny what swimming 2 miles a few times a week, biking hours after hours a week, or running on tired legs, all alone, will do for a person. Each week when I begin to think I can't do the next workout because I am exhausted I start it and realize I can do it. This Sunday I was pretty tired after my long bike. I laid in bed extra late debating if I had my long run in me. I started later than normal and it was hot, I was tired, I had to walk a little more than usual. But guess what, I got it done. It wasn't fast but it was confidence building and I think when you are training for an Ironman or Marathon that is one of the most important things. It is amazing what your body can do when you quit telling your mind you can't do it.
At the beginning of this journey Cory and I made a deal. This would be the year of my Ironman, and next year I wouldn't sign up for any major race so we could travel and enjoy summer without me worrying about training. Cory has been amazing, Even when I am exhausted, crying, yelling at him telling him he isn't there for me enough and I need more, and that I should just drop this goal he lets me get it out. This past weekend he put me first, like many, and did all the stuff around the house and ran all the errands on Saturday then took me out to dinner for me to just come right home and fall asleep. Then he worked all day Sunday and took me out for ice cream that night. He is letting me have this year and I could not do it without him.
I have missed out on going out with friends, I am having problems juggling my schedule with family related activities, work, and a tough training schedule. One of my friends has asked me several times to do things and every single time I have had a long workout. I know she is hurt, but this is me right now. I knew this from the start. I joke about how I am glad the Cubs won the WS last year because I can't stay up late to watch all the games and come September I will be too busy to watch most of them. I wanted to go to a real game, I wanted to go on a brewery tour, I wanted to go somewhere and hike....I just don't have the time this year.
So training long hours, not seeing friends and family, missing out on fun summer activities with my husband, being exhausted 99% of the time....well no one said training for an Ironman would be easy! I also never expected it to be. Popular quote, "If it was easy, everyone would do it." This week I get a small break because I planned around my family reunion. I am so excited for a whole Saturday off of working out. That does mean more working out longer hours on the other days but to have a whole Saturday off right now seems like a gift! After this weekend it is just crazy until taper time.
It will be here before I know it and then it will be done and will I miss it? I don't think I will. Right now I am thinking this will be a one and done. Could I change my mind, absolutely. At this point though it is a lot. It takes a lot of hours, a lot of dedication, a lot of sacrifice. It is completely time consuming. Many other Ironman say I will change my mind, maybe it is easier for them, I am not sure how it can be haha, especially some of my elite friends who train even harder than I do.
One thing I have been struggling with is people's view of what is an Ironman. I have heard people say if you don't get a certain time, like under 14 hours, or if you don't do a certain number of them, or if the swim gets cancelled that you aren't a true Ironman. I say fuck that. I say those people are mean. I have put some many hours into becoming strong enough to even sign up, to even step foot on the start line. If I finish under 16 hours 15 minutes and never do another tri event again in my life you know what, I am an Ironman. This has already been the most daunting thing I have ever done in my entire life and I feel anyone who does this deserves that title if they finish in the allowed time.
So week 21! I am in the 3rd stage! It is freaking real! 9 weeks. A little over 2 months. HOLY CRAP!!! What am I doing? What have I done? I can't wait for this crap to be done!! Look at this my only day off training during the week and I am wasting time talking about training!!
One last thing, through the tears, stress, sore muscles, lost time, hurt feelings, anxiety, and everything else I have never been more proud and impressed with myself. I feel in shape, I feel good, I feel like I can eat the entire fridge and be ok with it!! Tonight I am going to watch the Cubs, drink a beer, have a conversation with my husband, play Frisbee with Remy (inside it is too hot out.) Tomorrow I am going to get back up and continue to kick this Ironman training's ass and grow my confidence day by day. Who knows, maybe by the end of this training I will have finally figured out the question of who I want to be when I grow up :)- 144.6, here I come!! do I get extra points for going 4 miles longer?!?
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