Sunday evening while sitting in a BBQ restaurant Cory says to me, "Do you know the locals call it Chatty. We are in Chatty." I laughed for maybe the first time in a week. We had a fantastic time in Chatty. So much so that I cried Thursday evening on the couch while petting my pup. I love Remy so much, but I love it in Chattanooga. Some day we will be there with Remy, but living there!
In the week leading up to race day I was a complete mess. I let everything get to me. Allergies, flat bike tire, Cory's crazy work schedule, a 7 turned 8.5 hour drive there, a broken hotel shower, a possible broken (later just stubbed) toe, and a 90 degree race day. Nothing seemed to go my way and I was so frustrated at one point I even punched the wall in our hotel.
SATURDAY. Cory and I got up and ran 3 miles, went to Ironman Village to check in, bought some race crap, went to the race meeting where I saw Pat, and headed back to the hotel to get ready for an early dinner and to bed. We had went to a nice Italian restaurant before my full in 2017 and planned to go back. It did not disappoint! If you are ever in Chatty, check out Alleia! I will recommend quite a few places during this but this one not only has great food, but excellent service and an interesting design! We headed back to the hotel for hopefully an early GOOD sleep!
RACE DAY-SUNDAY! I woke up and actually got about 5 hours of sleep. I had slept about 8 hours both the nights before so I was shocked at how well I slept! Cory specifically asked me if I had everything with me before we left and I rolled my eyes and told him to hurry. He droped me off and I headed to transition to set up. I found Nicole and started to set up when a girl walks by me talking about how she forgot her timing chip in her hotel room and I came to the realization that I had as well. But thanks to Cory, I got it within 15 minutes and was ready to roll, after he returned the eye roll! Nicole and I headed off to the swim start where we met many interesting people and she helped me into my stupid wetsuit. We found out that once again the pros swam too slow against the current and we would not be doing that part. Swim course cut short again. We waited, and we waited, and OMG we waited for almost 1.5 hours after the start and finally got on the pee covered dock.
Swim. At Chatty you have to jump off the dock. For some reason this makes me lose my mind and swim ability, so once again I panicked and had to hold on to a canoe for 3 minutes. Then I was magically fine and the rest of the swim went ok.
T1 went fine. Lots of people on their bikes already. I am a poor swimmer but I tend to be a mid pack biker so I knew I would be passing a lot.
Bike Course. I have never in my life seen such a congested bike course. I love this course but the fact that IM oversold it and you were constantly in a pack of 5-10 people took away my love for the course. I saw two accidents, followed an ambulance for awhile going way under my normal speed, had way too much car traffic, and I even almost ran over a rattlesnake, lucky for me a nice man was on course pointing him out. Damn snake was in the river the day before. Bet he didn't have to pay the race fees. Bandit... For me the bike course was safe. Unfortunately that wasn't the case for others. I have heard of many accidents, I saw two.
T2 was good. I peed and that was important since it was 90 degrees.
Run Course. I love the run. It is a little hilly, but full of amazing volunteers and spectators and even the other runners are amazing. I was feeling sick but I just tried to make it from one mile to the next. I saw Cory, Julie, Coral, and Nicole on the course. I gave a guy who was struggling my base salts and made a new friend! Many people asked me which Ironman I had done and I joked that the IM was easier than this day. And before I knew it (ok this is a freaking lie I knew exactly) I was crossing the finish line. I was sick as hell so we left immediately to get out of the sun.
Through the bad and my horrible attitude, I still love this race and it did not take away from my wonderful experiences my first two times there! The rest of the trip however, heaven!
That evening we ate at Sticky Fingers, which I am pretty sure all our local stores sell their sauces. Then we walked around Chatty downtown. It is like an active person's dream city! So many place to walk and ride and interesting things to see.
MONDAY. This was to be the coolest day of the next three day, 90 degrees, so we decided to head and do the tourist thing. Rock City and Ruby Falls. You can google so I won't get into the details of what they are but I will say it is a tourist trap! Lots of people, lots of money. It was interesting but it was a one and done, never again type place. Very pretty however, great pictures! We went to a place for a lite lunch called Tupelo Honey. If you like bisquits and honey, this is your place! Very good. We spent the rest of the day walking around and trying out different bars. We stopped at both Brewhaus, a German bar and a bar off the water which I will talk about later. We walked all over this day and ended up seeing most of downtown Chatty. We ended the evening at Mellow Mushroom for pizza and back to the room to watch the Cubs.
TUESDAY. One of the area Ironman had recommended hitting Cumberland trail in Laurel Snow Park to hike to Laurel Falls. We were told the first mile is an easy hike, but then you start a 1000 feet ascent on rocky trail to where you will be rewarded with an amazing water fall if you make it! We made it and it did not disappoint! Amazing views and time spent with just each other, well and a snake and a frog, because we were it until we got back on the easy part of the trail! We decide to refresh at the roof top pool of our hotel with some margaritas after. We met a nice family there and Cory had way to much fun racing George, a 3 year old, across the pool! We headed out that evening for a dinner we had reserved at Hennen's. This is a very nice steak and seafood restaurant and it was amazing! We walked a few miles around downtown again seeing even more new things and ended up at another Ironman suggested favorite, Clumpy's, their local ice cream shop that reminded us of Red Bicycle. I had Key Lime Pie ice cream and it was delicious!
WEDNESDAY. Our last day. Sad. But we got up and ran to another ironman suggested place, Milk & Honey. DELICIOUS! Ironman know there food! Amazing breakfast! I had a burrito and Cory got a sandwich and yogurt. We ran back, which was very hard after good food, and got ready for an afternoon at the Aquarium. This is the best one I have ever been to. They have a building for river life and ocean life and both were awesome! I am glad after seeing all that is in the river that we went AFTER my race. After we saw the river life building we ate lunch at Puckett's where I got the best brisket nachos ever and Cory got fried okra which to my surprise was ok! Then we went back and finished the ocean life part of the aquarium. Afterwards we did more walking! You could make a trip out of just walking around Chattanooga! We stopped at what was one of our favorite brew houses, Parkway Pourhouse. It is on the bike course and the staff is friendly and helpful. The bartender recommended an IPA, Bearded Iris Homestyle IPA, brewed in Nashville and a new fav of mine! We finished the evening taking in a Chattanooga Lockouts baseball game, which they won and the catcher hit 3 homeruns which has not happened there in years! Watching a double a game is so fun! They do activities every inning and it is more relaxed and cheaper!
Early morning wake up call at 4am for an emergency alarm had us walking down and then back up 9 flights of stairs. Thankfully all was safe and we were able to get back to sleep pretty quick. We headed home Thursday and I was more than ready for kisses from Remy but I was sad to leave. What started out as a stressful trip turned in to an amazing time with memories I will cherish. I know we will be back there soon though! I hope you can check out this fantastic city someday!
Friday, May 24, 2019
Friday, October 19, 2018
As I am dishing out my third helping of mashed potatoes a few nights back I looked up at Cory’s smirk and realize what true love is. Funny, I was wearing half my makeup smeared all over my face from running. I had on sweats with no bra. I just ran so to be honest, I stunk. I was piling the food into my mouth like it was my job while watching the Red Sox beat the Astros. Definition of one hot wife! And yet he still loves me for all I am. (awe <3)
Almost two weeks ago I went through a procedure to help me from becoming a hot mama for the next 5 years. To not give TMI, every single birth control method I have tried has been just a big complication for me. I am pretty sure my body wants to be a baby maker and it going on strike every time I try to tell it otherwise. So last week was a roller coaster of pain, emotions, and more pain, and even more emotions. It snuck into this week and I thought I was going to kill someone! But all seems to be going ok now and I am getting back on track. Through the drama Cory has been a superstar husband. It’s probably not easy loving a moody wife with a teenage boy hunger all the time but he makes it look like a piece of cake. And I am hungry again…
Anyway, it got me thinking of how different I am with Cory than anyone other guy I dated. (This is probably why I married him and not one of the others thank goodness.) I remember how I used to worry about what I ate in front of a guy. I would never be full even if we went on a trip and spent several days together because I didn’t want to eat like I do and make myself look like a pig. I would wear makeup all the time, have my hair perfect, clothes always looking good. I would listen and watch what they wanted to, even act like I enjoyed it when I didn’t. I would even sometimes act like I didn’t like certain things that I actually did like so that they would like me more. I think of these things now and I just see how crazy it is. To not be me. To be someone I wasn’t to make someone like me more. It was ridiculous. So here is a few facts about the real me, and how Cory relates! Enjoy! I hope you will look at yourself and compare as well! I am who I am, not because of him but because of me, and he loves me for that exact reason which makes me a better person and that is how it should be J
1. Obviously, I like the Cubs. Cory does not. As a matter of fact I think he is lowering our cable options in hopes we won’t get all the games next year! It is not that Cory doesn’t like Baseball, he just doesn’t like who I become when I watch the Cubs! I don’t care, I still watch them. I think he likes the Mets. We both agree we want the Boston Red Sox to win the AL (they did), I think he wants the Brewers to win the NL. I hate the Brewers, go Dodgers.
2. I burp sometimes. Cory finds this completely disgusting. Oh well. (burp)
3. We both love working out but he can’t understand my NEED to race. He gets I need to but doesn’t really see the pleasure in it like I do.
4. I like serial killer movies and detective dramas and he is more into war and fighting movies. I absolutely hate superhero movies and he loves them. We usually mix it up. I also don’t really care for romance but at least once or twice a year I want to watch Sweet Home Alabama or ANY romance movie with Ryan Reynolds. He doesn’t get how I can watch the same ones over and over but he will watch them with me and Shawshank Redemption if I want to! We both agree we hate stupid comedy. We like romcom some, but the stupid comedy we don’t care for.
5. I love spicy foods. Cory is not such a fan but I am getting him to cross over to the more spicy side every day.
6. We both hate cake. Bring on the cookies.
7. He doesn’t like peanut butter to the extent I do but he will deal with it!
8. On any given day, there is about a 90% chance Cory is dressed better than I am. He likes expensive clothes. I buyoff Amazon or take my mom’s leftovers. I just want cheap stuff that looks ok on me. However my running shoes are $120 and his are $60. Priorities!
9. We discuss politics. He actually takes a day or so to go over every candidate with me before we vote. We really do not discuss who we vote for but I have an idea that we agree on many topics.
10. He hates running. I obviously think he is crazy….
11. We both eat a lot of food. A lot. I would say about 50% of the time I can take him on this though. I can’t tell if he is impressed or scared of me.
12. I worry 24/7. He doesn’t. It can be a problem. We fight. We deal with it and move on.
13. Remy is our child. He is daddy, I am mommy. Anyone disagrees they do not have to come to our house! We don’t need to discuss why you disagreeing with this makes you an ass.
14. I like mainly country, but I like 90’s alternative. I like Justin Timberlake too. He likes weird shit that he used to put on my ipod to run to. Who runs to Cold Play and Death Cab?? He likes to control the music in my car. I like to slap his hand.
15. He likes staying up late, I like getting up early. We deal!
16. He has to shower before we leave the house, I like to think not showering on the weekends will keep people away from me while we are shopping.
17. He cooks, I bake.
18. He cleans outdoors, I clean indoors. Sometimes we help each other.
19. We both love Billy Barooz, Moe’s, Papa Murphy’s, Chili’s, and Courier. Cory is limited on where he will eat. I love Taco Bell, Buffalo Wild Wings, and any Indian food restaurant. Those are a big no for him. We don’t compromise on these haha, I eat them when he isn’t around.
20. I drink good beer and he drinks nasty beer. He probably disagrees but I know best here. He told me when we first met he likes to get good beer, Heineken. No honey. No.
21. Cory is an introvert, I am a little of both. He will never have FB. I post too much on FB. However the older I get the more relaxed I feel when it is him, Remy, and I alone watching a movie.
22. He spends a lot of time at home, working. When I clock out I leave work at work.
23. I am crazy. He agrees on this.
24. We love each other. We fight. We have had small and large problems. We have got through them. I am lucky. He is a keeper.
Anyway I think you get the point. I no longer have to hide who I am. I can be who I am and he still loves me even if we disagree, and holy cow we disagree on a lot. I mean, I won’t leave my pup with anyone other than like 3 people and he wants to hire a walker for when we go to Galesburg for the day, UMM NO. This is our current disagreement, one I will win J but in the end we get over it and still love each other!
Play along! I mean, comment on something that is different from you and yours and how you drive each other bonkers. Thanks for listening as always!
Friday, August 24, 2018
Ironman > Ultra
I want to start off saying that these are my feelings and experiences and mine alone. I am not stating for fact one is more difficult, better, fun other than how I view it. Do not take offense if you have participated in both and think opposite. The beauty of exercise is we get to choose what suits us best, what makes us most happy!
After a year of Ironman Choo I decided with much encouragement from the hubs to take a year off of triathlons. It was going to be an easy year! Helping pace the half marathon training program in the winter, do an occasional local race here and there, working on my strength training…. Not sure how I ended up signing up for a 50 miler. I would say it was temporary insanity if it wasn’t for the fact that two months later I signed up for an 8 hour ultra as well.
I started off loving the training for my ultra! Who wouldn’t love long slow runs with walk breaks and snacks? My friend Letitia always referred to it as a moving picnic! Every Saturday after my long run Cory and I would go out to eat and I could get whatever I wanted! Sunday’s I started off feeling pretty good doing a semi longer run to follow up Saturday! Instead of the 8-12 hours I was putting in Ironman training on the weekends last year, I was putting in maybe at most 5-6 hours a weekend ultratraining! It was awesome!
It was awesome. Till the spring decided to be non-existent. Temps reaching well into the 90’s at 8am, meaning I was out the door at 4:30am starting my run in the dark. About the time the humidity would disappear the sun would be out and a few hours into the run you were just drained. I would be out half the time as triathlon training and I would be twice as tired. Not sure if this was the weather, or because I was only running, I am sure it was a combo of both but I was just so tired. Chaffing, let us not even go there because there were places even I didn’t realize could chaff! Haha they can!!
I did have company to start most of my runs but people who aren’t ultra training do not really want to run over 13 miles in 90 degrees plus! So some runs were solo, all runs had parts that were solo. My major complaint about Ironman training was that it was so lonely. It is hard to train with others when we all have different schedules. I found myself on Saturdays biking 5-6 hours solo and running my long runs on Sunday when others already had theirs done for the weekend. I was excited for a year of running with others and it was so much better this year!
But as training continued and the temps continued to be hell, I found myself not liking it anymore. I was tired and starting to feel pain. It concerned me that I was heading down the road to injury again. On my cross training days I was sore and couldn’t do much more than just walk Remy. 3 weeks before my 8 hour ultra, and a few months out from the 50 miler, I started to have ankle pain after running for 5 miles. I had it for about 4 runs before the 8 hour ultra and then the last run before it I had no pain. I thought maybe it had all been in my head.
Race day comes and I got about 3-4 loops in (10-12 miles) when it was evident that it was not in my head. My ankle was hurting and it felt like I had adjusted my running and was dealing with a possible blister on my toe. I was only 2 hours into the 8 and knew I would need to do something to keep going so I switched shoes early on. It saved me. My toe never blister and after a loop my ankle never hurt again that day, but the bottoms of my feet were screaming at me. I thought maybe it was the changing of surfaces and not being used to it but I had a few others tell me theirs hurt too. The first two hours were humid, misty, cool, and not too bad. Then the sun came out blazing with no break for 6 hours. Luckily I was used to this! This was what we had all summer. However after 3-4 hours I was done on training runs, I still had several hours to go and I could no longer stomach anything but Coke and water. I felt I was going to fail. My secret goal was 35, because I wanted that so I could drop out of the 50. I had a little over 2 hours to get 10 miles. I wasn’t sure I could do it.
About this time in the race my friend V joins me to run a loop. My 9th loop and my worst. I was hurting, nauseous, and down on myself. She let me talk it out that loop, walk a lot, say I wasn’t going to get my goal. We got back to start loop 10 with about 1 hour 50 minutes left. I told her I wasn’t going to make 2 more loops. She said I would. I told her if we could do a loop in 50 minutes I would try for another. I feel this was a game changer. I started planning out when I would run and how long, she made me try watermelon and I was able to keep it down, I used the restroom and just that tiny stop refreshed me. We got back with not only an hour left, but an hour and 10 minutes! I was going to get my goal, and not only that, my friend Jeff joined us and we started talking about me trying to get his amount from the year he did it. I wanted 35, I ended up getting back and doing 3 out and back loops, the loops you do once it is too late to go back out for another long loop. I ended up with 37.69! I owe so much to them two and believing me in! I really have the best friends! I was so happy. I was so done with ultras too! I would be dropping the 50. Here is why.
Howl is the best race for a first time ultra runner I believe! It was an amazing experience! Not too many people, the loop is only 3.29 miles with 3 aid loaded aid stations (with wonderful helpers) so you don’t need to carry anything, it has amazing support, the people are wonderful, and you can have others run with you that aren’t racing. I loved the experience. I did not love the after feeling or the training.
When I trained for my Ironman I was strong. I weighed less this year training for my ultra, but my body didn’t feel as good. Training for the ultra just made me feel like I could run a long time. Training for the Ironman made me feel like I could do almost anything. I was the most fit I have ever been. After each workout I recovered quickly, which was necessary in training to be able to get back out there the next day and do it over again. I did not feel great ultra training. I felt tired, run down, hurt. When I look back I think it was harder Ironman training but ultra training was more exhausting and painful. By the end of the day when Ironman training I was exhausted. But I was exhausted and would go to sleep and feel good the next day. At the end of the day ultra training I would be exhausted and wake up exhausted, my body was exhausted. It made me feel weak. It made me realize that maybe just running long distances wasn’t for me. I didn’t love it enough to risk injury. I didn’t care about it enough.
It could be that this year was hotter than last year. It could be that I never really took a break after my Ironman and I am just run down. I could take time off both and try ultras again but I just don’t care too and I think that above any other reason is enough for me to drop it and go back to what I love doing. Life is short and all, so I would rather do it triing, than just running.
Tuesday, September 26, 2017
Nicole Lake, You Are An Ironman!
Ok I owe this style of writing to Valeria Rohde as I stole it from her IM post. Hers made me cry. I loved it so much! I hope you don't mind V, but ever since I read your report and then decided on this journey your dedication and inspiration has fueled me! You are my hero! Not some movie star, not some pro runner, but the woman who can do a super sprint tri and turn around a day later and decide to do an IM and freaking do it!
In late 2013 I read a post Ironman race report from a friend. She made me want chicken broth. She did not make me want to attempt an Ironman. A year later I would be on the mend recovering from a hip stress fracture, swimming laps and buying my first bike assuring Cory I would never race triathlons. A year after that I purchased my first road bike, Dexter, and attempted my first HIM 70.3. 2016, I did two HIM. The day after the second one I signed up for Chatt 144.6. 2017 Cory got me my first triathlon bike, Spector. I spent this whole time building up to Feb 2017 when I would start a 6 month training program that would hopefully finish with Mike Reilly telling me my dream had come true and I was an Ironman. It did. This is my story!
Thursday:
We are packed and heading out. I am having many doubts. It will be hot. I am worried about getting sick. We are stopping at a hotel in Kentucky. The Cubs are playing the Brewers and need a win. They get it in the 10th inning. YES! I am excited. I remember back to the World Series thinking that if the Cubs won after 100 plus years I could win an Ironman. I feels good knowing they just won a hard game.
Friday:
I slept ok. 7 hours. We wake up and have breakfast and I overhear an employee say that everyone that works there has been sick. Worries set in. I wish I didn't hear her. We head out for Chatt. We stop at a beautiful rest stop on the lake right before we hit town. We take pics. We immediately park and head to the expo since we can't check in to the hotel till 3pm and it is only 12. Ironman village is loaded with people and tents. I make my way through to pick up my package and visit the goody tent, we buy a couple shirts, Cory wants to buy me a finishers plaque, I don't want to jinx myself. We do lunch and walk around and head to the hotel. We change and go for a run. It is hot. I am going to die race day. We head back and eat dinner at the hotel and watch the Cubs. They win again! in the 10th! Yay more confidence.
Saturday:
I tossed and turned all night. Maybe 5 hours of sleep. I really needed 7-8. We hit Starbucks and head out with my bike and bags to take to check in and attend the athlete's meeting. I meet up with my friend Tina and just being around her and hearing about the course calms me. I feel better. We get some lunch and head back to the hotel. Cory takes off to bike and I get my aid ready and shower and sit down to rest and watch the Cubs. They lose. Damn. I needed that confidence. We go to a really great Italian restaurant and then head back to try to get an early night.
Sunday:
Pre Race:
I tossed and turned all night. Maybe 1.5 hours of sleep. I feel confident though. I can do this. OMG Is my hip hurting? Is that a sore throat? Time to go but I didn't poop. I head down to set up my aid at my bike and drop off special need bags. I meet up with Tina and her husband to get on the bus to go to the swim start. I kiss Cory goodbye and set out. We get there 2 hours early, There are seriously only THAT few potty's for 2000 plus people and their families. It smells and it is not the potty's. Is that the water that smells? I use the potty and head back to the line. We wait. And wait. It is 40 minutes pre race so I will eat my Honey Stinger Waffle. Pros are taking off. OMG do I have to poop now? No No I don't have time. OMG. Normal people are starting. I tell Tina that I can see the swim start now. We say goodbye to Tina's husband. I feel the dock on my feet. The announcer hugs me and telsl me it will be ok. Tina tells me it is Mike Reilly. I got hugged by Mike Reilly. (Who the hell is Mike Reilly?)
Swim:
I jump off the dock and I swallow a mouthful. I start to panic and the first canoe calls me over. I try to swim and I don't remember how to breathe under water. Panic. I keep trying and I don't know how. Second canoe person makes me come over to his. He tells me I need to wait 3 minutes and calm down. A wave hits and I swallow it. He makes me look at him and tells me to calm down. I am worried about the time. He tells me I need to calm down and I will have plenty of time and that I can do it. I calm down. I tell him I am ok. I take off and remember how to breathe. I swim awhile with no contact with another person. This swim is so spread out. It is awesome. I feel good, really good. Is that the island halfway point. OMG I am halfway?? I see the bridges!! I see the exit. They pull me out and I head to transition.
T1:
I grab my bag and head into the tent. I will do a full change. A volunteer grabs my bag and starts help me organize everything. She helps me change. She is an angel. I am all set. I try to eat a granola bar and get two bites down. I have heartburn. I take two tums. I also take my base salt. Ouch I have such bad heartburn. I hit the potty and head out to get my bike.
Bike:
Clipped in and heading out. Wow my legs feel so bad. Why do they feel so heavy? 2 miles and someone has already got a flat. I yell out asking if she needs anything and she doesn't. That has to be good karma. I won't flat since I asked. Oh shit knock on wood. I have no wood. Please don't flat. I still feel like my legs are heavy. Another person on the side of the road already?? I ask them they are good too super karma action going on here!
Mile 11: ok We should be starting the 2 loops. Why do I feel so tired. I need to keep drinking but my tummy feels like poo. I really can't stomach anymore of those waffles. I will eat all they other stuff first. I am really doing good with the drinking! I will have to pee by the halfway point. I bet my pee is not Miller Lite yet like Nick said I better drink more. What the fuck is with all these hills. I do not remember these in the HIM. What is this monster hill? This was definitely not in the HIM. Wow it is so pretty. Fuck You Hill. Fuck You. It really is pretty.
Mile 23-56: Did I really just see a mile 60 sign? That is just mean. Ok this is getting better. That was a nice downhill after that killer. I can do this. I am still drinking. Heartburn has kind of went away. I will try a honey stinger waffle again. Ok no. That was not good. Another person on the side of the road. I asked again and he said he needed a mechanic. Karma is working for me! Awe these down hills are giving me back my strength and confidence. There is that Chikimakawakawu town! I need to stop at special needs for some pain meds. My back hurts. Got them and a granola bar. Thank you volunteer! Back out. Man it feels nice having all these people cheer. I am smiling now. Yay. Seriously Mile 100 sign? Who does this shit? Ok not smiling anymore I feel tired again. I shouldn't have stopped. Oh wow down hill, major down hill time. I need to break holy craaaaaap. Another person on the side I ask if she is ok she is but needs a mechanic.
Second Loop:
Here we go hello hill time. At least I know what is coming this time.
Miles 58-75ish:
Fuck fuck fuck. Sorry mom but these hills. Oh so this time that mile 60 sign applies! I ask the person next to me if there were this many hills the first time. He agrees hills have grown since 9am. Where the heck are the down hills. Ouch. Cramp in my right foot. That feels like I am being stabbed. Need to adjust. OMG cramp in my left foot now I may need to stop and take off my shoe. I will stop at 80. No 90. I only have 16 miles after 90. Ouch it hurts. Another hill WTF. OMG I have 26 after 90 not 16. I will need to stop at 90. I think after this hill we finally go down hill again. Nope. No we do not another stupid hill has grown. Ouch foot.
75-100:
Ok I think this is the last big hill before down hills. YES. Coast!! Awe my foot is feeling better I will wait to 100. I need to switch out my aid bottles. Oops dropped an empty bottle. Ok another person on the side of the road. Karma karma karma. Wow she was not happy. Not nice to me for asking. That is why she is on the side of the road. I know now we have mostly down hills for the rest of the bike. I have been drinking so much I have to pee! Yay! I am hydrated! I am going to hold it till T2. I can. No stopping for my foot either it feels good. Where is that damn town though that I saw the 100 mile marker we have to be close. There it is! People all over the place still! Smile! HI everyone! 100 mile marker yay! 16 more to go!!
100-116:
Ouch foot ouch. I am definitely waiting till T2 now. Only 10 more miles. That is like an easy day. I see a guy walking his bike. Ask if he is ok and he is pissed. He is cramping. I ask if he wants some salt and he tells me he wants off the fucking bike. Yay me too buddy but I am being nice for karma! Wow, into town is seriously like coming off a mountain! A mountain I climbed at mile 5 when I was hurting but now this mountain is awesome! 5 miles and she is on the side of the road poor girl. I ask if she is ok and she glares at me. Understood girl understood. You should have thought about it earlier and asked people if they were ok though! KARMA! 4 more miles. If this was a regular Ironman I would be off the bike but NO this is a stupid Ironman. 3 more! I could ride like 50 more miles I really could. 2 more. I need off this god damn bike right now. 1 more mile! Wow I just started this ride didn't I?
T2:
Here take it I don't want it back. I will never ride that stupid thing again. For Sale. Really I have to bend down and grab my own bag? But.... Ok got it. I am walking to the tent this time. A lady grabs my bag from me. She starts to help me change and hands me my chips. I love this woman. She is the best friend I don't know. She asks if I want her to tie my shoes. Yes mommy. Wait no I need to do that myself because I know how tight I like them. Ok I need to use the potty and get going. Got my bib and stuff let's go!
Run:
Mile 1:
Hey! I feel damn good! Yay. Hi Cory I love you! I am feeling great! See you in a little bit! Oh shit a hill...
Mile 2-7ish:
Ok. That hill sucked ass. I am good now. It is hot. Water at the aid stations and a drink of coke. and salt. No more salt. No. I will take the chips instead. Is that music? That is not good music. Is that Santa or am I losing it? Nope that is definitely Santa. Funny joke huh? Because I am hot as hell people. Ok. Run now. This isn't so bad. It is pretty flat now. And shady. I will run 2 minutes walk 1 minute until it cools off. Does this bike path ever end. Mile 18 for real these people are just asshats with their teasing. I see the end to this bike path! And the end is a fucking steep hill. Oh hi Cory yep you bet I am walking up this hill!
Mile 8-12:
Ok time to cross the bridge and face Barton! OMG WTF F F F F F F F. Well I guess I am walking for a half mile up this mountain with houses. Is that a beer station? Who would want beer? Oh that guy does. DOWNHILL!!! Yes! I love to run down...NO OUCH why why make it stop. Oh good another up hill walk time. Oh wow that is a pretty house, or is that a country club! Pretty. Fuck another hill. Oh and back to do Barton the other way. I feel like Jack and Jill only the hill never gets to the pail of water. OK. Down hill time. Aid station on a down hill is just BULLSHIT. I am not wasting the down hill. Mile 12!!!! Hi Cory is that a beer? Well you deserve it. He takes a pic of me!
Mile 13-20:
ok round 2! 13 miles to go! I got this. Hell ya! It is cooling down! I am walking up this hill but I am going to run like the whole mile after. I did! I ran a long time. Ok only 4 minutes but wow. Mile 15 back at the north pole. Did he just say we only have 10 miles left. Only. Ok we only have 11 left asshat. Did he just say we only have our warm up left. I may punch Santa man. Only my ass. Ok run this and I am back on the never ending bike path. It is almost getting dark. A guy just told me I have a nice cadence! Thank you man!! Good thing he didn't see me on the bike! What the fuck is that smell. Oh me. Oops. I can run for 4 minutes again. I feel so good. Haha mile 18! This time I freaking love that sign! Is that Miley Cirus? Party in the USA! I am going to have that in my head for the rest of this damn race. Time to try some of that wonderful chicken broth. Yes chicken broth. OMG no. WTF V. That is disgusting. Never again. Spit. Yuck. Back to coke! Mile 20!!! There is my honey! Hi Cory! He won't see me again till the finish line! Love you!!
Mile 21-24:
Up Barton again. It feels better the second time. Someone knows me? Oh Tina! Yay!!! I will run with her till the end! OMG she is power walking. Tina you walk like my dad. There is the beer stand again. Still a big no. Tina and I will stay together and walk the hills and run the rest. OMG her power walking is tiring me. I hope I can keep up. Ok I think that was the last hill before Barton round 4. Nope forgot that one. I am actually happy for hills until I remember she power walks. Ok Barton! We are down hill running! Not stopping again at the down hill aid station.
Mile 25:
Tina tells me she will probably cry. I don't feel much. That's weird. We are going to walk up the bridge and then run the rest of the way in. We meet a guy on the bridge. He congratulates us! He is nice! Run time. I can't believe it less than a mile now! I feel good! Too good! Yay! I tell Tina she will cross the finish line first because she is older. She is worried about it but all I want to do is break 14 hours at this point. She finally lets me let her go first!
Finish Line:
I see the light! I hope it is the Ironman light and not the I am dying light. I feel great! I am not going to cry and that kind of upsets me. Why am I not more emotional? So many people are cheering us in! Wow I see the finish! I can't believe it. Tina takes off! I see Julie! I see Cory!!! Tina is through! Nicole Olmo, you are an Ironman! Tina ,you are an Ironman! Yes we are! And we did great!!!
The End.
Thanks everyone for supporting me and listening to me whine, complain, brag, and just talk about this Ironman!! Without family and friends we couldn't do what we all love!
In late 2013 I read a post Ironman race report from a friend. She made me want chicken broth. She did not make me want to attempt an Ironman. A year later I would be on the mend recovering from a hip stress fracture, swimming laps and buying my first bike assuring Cory I would never race triathlons. A year after that I purchased my first road bike, Dexter, and attempted my first HIM 70.3. 2016, I did two HIM. The day after the second one I signed up for Chatt 144.6. 2017 Cory got me my first triathlon bike, Spector. I spent this whole time building up to Feb 2017 when I would start a 6 month training program that would hopefully finish with Mike Reilly telling me my dream had come true and I was an Ironman. It did. This is my story!
Thursday:
We are packed and heading out. I am having many doubts. It will be hot. I am worried about getting sick. We are stopping at a hotel in Kentucky. The Cubs are playing the Brewers and need a win. They get it in the 10th inning. YES! I am excited. I remember back to the World Series thinking that if the Cubs won after 100 plus years I could win an Ironman. I feels good knowing they just won a hard game.
Friday:
I slept ok. 7 hours. We wake up and have breakfast and I overhear an employee say that everyone that works there has been sick. Worries set in. I wish I didn't hear her. We head out for Chatt. We stop at a beautiful rest stop on the lake right before we hit town. We take pics. We immediately park and head to the expo since we can't check in to the hotel till 3pm and it is only 12. Ironman village is loaded with people and tents. I make my way through to pick up my package and visit the goody tent, we buy a couple shirts, Cory wants to buy me a finishers plaque, I don't want to jinx myself. We do lunch and walk around and head to the hotel. We change and go for a run. It is hot. I am going to die race day. We head back and eat dinner at the hotel and watch the Cubs. They win again! in the 10th! Yay more confidence.
Saturday:
I tossed and turned all night. Maybe 5 hours of sleep. I really needed 7-8. We hit Starbucks and head out with my bike and bags to take to check in and attend the athlete's meeting. I meet up with my friend Tina and just being around her and hearing about the course calms me. I feel better. We get some lunch and head back to the hotel. Cory takes off to bike and I get my aid ready and shower and sit down to rest and watch the Cubs. They lose. Damn. I needed that confidence. We go to a really great Italian restaurant and then head back to try to get an early night.
Sunday:
Pre Race:
I tossed and turned all night. Maybe 1.5 hours of sleep. I feel confident though. I can do this. OMG Is my hip hurting? Is that a sore throat? Time to go but I didn't poop. I head down to set up my aid at my bike and drop off special need bags. I meet up with Tina and her husband to get on the bus to go to the swim start. I kiss Cory goodbye and set out. We get there 2 hours early, There are seriously only THAT few potty's for 2000 plus people and their families. It smells and it is not the potty's. Is that the water that smells? I use the potty and head back to the line. We wait. And wait. It is 40 minutes pre race so I will eat my Honey Stinger Waffle. Pros are taking off. OMG do I have to poop now? No No I don't have time. OMG. Normal people are starting. I tell Tina that I can see the swim start now. We say goodbye to Tina's husband. I feel the dock on my feet. The announcer hugs me and telsl me it will be ok. Tina tells me it is Mike Reilly. I got hugged by Mike Reilly. (Who the hell is Mike Reilly?)
Swim:
I jump off the dock and I swallow a mouthful. I start to panic and the first canoe calls me over. I try to swim and I don't remember how to breathe under water. Panic. I keep trying and I don't know how. Second canoe person makes me come over to his. He tells me I need to wait 3 minutes and calm down. A wave hits and I swallow it. He makes me look at him and tells me to calm down. I am worried about the time. He tells me I need to calm down and I will have plenty of time and that I can do it. I calm down. I tell him I am ok. I take off and remember how to breathe. I swim awhile with no contact with another person. This swim is so spread out. It is awesome. I feel good, really good. Is that the island halfway point. OMG I am halfway?? I see the bridges!! I see the exit. They pull me out and I head to transition.
T1:
I grab my bag and head into the tent. I will do a full change. A volunteer grabs my bag and starts help me organize everything. She helps me change. She is an angel. I am all set. I try to eat a granola bar and get two bites down. I have heartburn. I take two tums. I also take my base salt. Ouch I have such bad heartburn. I hit the potty and head out to get my bike.
Bike:
Clipped in and heading out. Wow my legs feel so bad. Why do they feel so heavy? 2 miles and someone has already got a flat. I yell out asking if she needs anything and she doesn't. That has to be good karma. I won't flat since I asked. Oh shit knock on wood. I have no wood. Please don't flat. I still feel like my legs are heavy. Another person on the side of the road already?? I ask them they are good too super karma action going on here!
Mile 11: ok We should be starting the 2 loops. Why do I feel so tired. I need to keep drinking but my tummy feels like poo. I really can't stomach anymore of those waffles. I will eat all they other stuff first. I am really doing good with the drinking! I will have to pee by the halfway point. I bet my pee is not Miller Lite yet like Nick said I better drink more. What the fuck is with all these hills. I do not remember these in the HIM. What is this monster hill? This was definitely not in the HIM. Wow it is so pretty. Fuck You Hill. Fuck You. It really is pretty.
Mile 23-56: Did I really just see a mile 60 sign? That is just mean. Ok this is getting better. That was a nice downhill after that killer. I can do this. I am still drinking. Heartburn has kind of went away. I will try a honey stinger waffle again. Ok no. That was not good. Another person on the side of the road. I asked again and he said he needed a mechanic. Karma is working for me! Awe these down hills are giving me back my strength and confidence. There is that Chikimakawakawu town! I need to stop at special needs for some pain meds. My back hurts. Got them and a granola bar. Thank you volunteer! Back out. Man it feels nice having all these people cheer. I am smiling now. Yay. Seriously Mile 100 sign? Who does this shit? Ok not smiling anymore I feel tired again. I shouldn't have stopped. Oh wow down hill, major down hill time. I need to break holy craaaaaap. Another person on the side I ask if she is ok she is but needs a mechanic.
Second Loop:
Here we go hello hill time. At least I know what is coming this time.
Miles 58-75ish:
Fuck fuck fuck. Sorry mom but these hills. Oh so this time that mile 60 sign applies! I ask the person next to me if there were this many hills the first time. He agrees hills have grown since 9am. Where the heck are the down hills. Ouch. Cramp in my right foot. That feels like I am being stabbed. Need to adjust. OMG cramp in my left foot now I may need to stop and take off my shoe. I will stop at 80. No 90. I only have 16 miles after 90. Ouch it hurts. Another hill WTF. OMG I have 26 after 90 not 16. I will need to stop at 90. I think after this hill we finally go down hill again. Nope. No we do not another stupid hill has grown. Ouch foot.
75-100:
Ok I think this is the last big hill before down hills. YES. Coast!! Awe my foot is feeling better I will wait to 100. I need to switch out my aid bottles. Oops dropped an empty bottle. Ok another person on the side of the road. Karma karma karma. Wow she was not happy. Not nice to me for asking. That is why she is on the side of the road. I know now we have mostly down hills for the rest of the bike. I have been drinking so much I have to pee! Yay! I am hydrated! I am going to hold it till T2. I can. No stopping for my foot either it feels good. Where is that damn town though that I saw the 100 mile marker we have to be close. There it is! People all over the place still! Smile! HI everyone! 100 mile marker yay! 16 more to go!!
100-116:
Ouch foot ouch. I am definitely waiting till T2 now. Only 10 more miles. That is like an easy day. I see a guy walking his bike. Ask if he is ok and he is pissed. He is cramping. I ask if he wants some salt and he tells me he wants off the fucking bike. Yay me too buddy but I am being nice for karma! Wow, into town is seriously like coming off a mountain! A mountain I climbed at mile 5 when I was hurting but now this mountain is awesome! 5 miles and she is on the side of the road poor girl. I ask if she is ok and she glares at me. Understood girl understood. You should have thought about it earlier and asked people if they were ok though! KARMA! 4 more miles. If this was a regular Ironman I would be off the bike but NO this is a stupid Ironman. 3 more! I could ride like 50 more miles I really could. 2 more. I need off this god damn bike right now. 1 more mile! Wow I just started this ride didn't I?
T2:
Here take it I don't want it back. I will never ride that stupid thing again. For Sale. Really I have to bend down and grab my own bag? But.... Ok got it. I am walking to the tent this time. A lady grabs my bag from me. She starts to help me change and hands me my chips. I love this woman. She is the best friend I don't know. She asks if I want her to tie my shoes. Yes mommy. Wait no I need to do that myself because I know how tight I like them. Ok I need to use the potty and get going. Got my bib and stuff let's go!
Run:
Mile 1:
Hey! I feel damn good! Yay. Hi Cory I love you! I am feeling great! See you in a little bit! Oh shit a hill...
Mile 2-7ish:
Ok. That hill sucked ass. I am good now. It is hot. Water at the aid stations and a drink of coke. and salt. No more salt. No. I will take the chips instead. Is that music? That is not good music. Is that Santa or am I losing it? Nope that is definitely Santa. Funny joke huh? Because I am hot as hell people. Ok. Run now. This isn't so bad. It is pretty flat now. And shady. I will run 2 minutes walk 1 minute until it cools off. Does this bike path ever end. Mile 18 for real these people are just asshats with their teasing. I see the end to this bike path! And the end is a fucking steep hill. Oh hi Cory yep you bet I am walking up this hill!
Mile 8-12:
Ok time to cross the bridge and face Barton! OMG WTF F F F F F F F. Well I guess I am walking for a half mile up this mountain with houses. Is that a beer station? Who would want beer? Oh that guy does. DOWNHILL!!! Yes! I love to run down...NO OUCH why why make it stop. Oh good another up hill walk time. Oh wow that is a pretty house, or is that a country club! Pretty. Fuck another hill. Oh and back to do Barton the other way. I feel like Jack and Jill only the hill never gets to the pail of water. OK. Down hill time. Aid station on a down hill is just BULLSHIT. I am not wasting the down hill. Mile 12!!!! Hi Cory is that a beer? Well you deserve it. He takes a pic of me!
Mile 13-20:
ok round 2! 13 miles to go! I got this. Hell ya! It is cooling down! I am walking up this hill but I am going to run like the whole mile after. I did! I ran a long time. Ok only 4 minutes but wow. Mile 15 back at the north pole. Did he just say we only have 10 miles left. Only. Ok we only have 11 left asshat. Did he just say we only have our warm up left. I may punch Santa man. Only my ass. Ok run this and I am back on the never ending bike path. It is almost getting dark. A guy just told me I have a nice cadence! Thank you man!! Good thing he didn't see me on the bike! What the fuck is that smell. Oh me. Oops. I can run for 4 minutes again. I feel so good. Haha mile 18! This time I freaking love that sign! Is that Miley Cirus? Party in the USA! I am going to have that in my head for the rest of this damn race. Time to try some of that wonderful chicken broth. Yes chicken broth. OMG no. WTF V. That is disgusting. Never again. Spit. Yuck. Back to coke! Mile 20!!! There is my honey! Hi Cory! He won't see me again till the finish line! Love you!!
Mile 21-24:
Up Barton again. It feels better the second time. Someone knows me? Oh Tina! Yay!!! I will run with her till the end! OMG she is power walking. Tina you walk like my dad. There is the beer stand again. Still a big no. Tina and I will stay together and walk the hills and run the rest. OMG her power walking is tiring me. I hope I can keep up. Ok I think that was the last hill before Barton round 4. Nope forgot that one. I am actually happy for hills until I remember she power walks. Ok Barton! We are down hill running! Not stopping again at the down hill aid station.
Mile 25:
Tina tells me she will probably cry. I don't feel much. That's weird. We are going to walk up the bridge and then run the rest of the way in. We meet a guy on the bridge. He congratulates us! He is nice! Run time. I can't believe it less than a mile now! I feel good! Too good! Yay! I tell Tina she will cross the finish line first because she is older. She is worried about it but all I want to do is break 14 hours at this point. She finally lets me let her go first!
Finish Line:
I see the light! I hope it is the Ironman light and not the I am dying light. I feel great! I am not going to cry and that kind of upsets me. Why am I not more emotional? So many people are cheering us in! Wow I see the finish! I can't believe it. Tina takes off! I see Julie! I see Cory!!! Tina is through! Nicole Olmo, you are an Ironman! Tina ,you are an Ironman! Yes we are! And we did great!!!
The End.
Thanks everyone for supporting me and listening to me whine, complain, brag, and just talk about this Ironman!! Without family and friends we couldn't do what we all love!
Wednesday, August 30, 2017
My awful truth of training for 140.6
I woke up today in the middle of the first week of month 6 of my training plan for my Ironman. Wednesday. Brick day. Every Wednesday for the past 5 months has been Brick day. Just like every Monday is my day off, every Tuesday I have a long swim followed by an hour bike, every Thursday I have a long swim followed by an hour bike, Friday I have an hour run with an optionally long swim, Saturday I have my long ride/short run brick, Sunday long run. Ask me when I am 99 years old and I will most likely be able to still tell you this training plan. One of the things I cannot wait for is to wake up on a Tuesday and bike! Or say FUCK IT and not work out at all. That sounds so good. Pizza does too. I just ate too but that means nothing. Pizza. Yum.
So I was reading on this Women's Tri Facebook page and I saw a woman post about doing her 103rd Ironman. Say what? 103? What? NO. This lady is certainly insane. I mean I am trying to do math here, so if she is 60 and she started at 30, that is 103/30...3.43 a year. Yah screw that. I am doing 1. 1 and done. She must love herself. Or hate herself. Or love pizza. Because right now I am having both feelings about myself throughout any given day.
16 hours I am up a day. 14 of them I am thinking about the Ironman. The other 2 I am shoving my face with food and still most likely thinking about it. Everything I do is Ironman. I am so sick of the word I could scream. Most people can't wait to cross the finish line and here, "You, You are an Ironman." I can't wait to cross the finish line and kiss this part of my life goodbye. Part of me is obviously joking, but mostly I am not. You know at mile 20 of a marathon you swear to god you will never do another and then you cross the finish line and can't wait till your next one. Yah no. No way. I am so over this. I want to enjoy life again. This to me is not fun. For those of you that do multiple and enjoy it, well, you guys are freaking amazing. I have had moments where I hate my bike, my shoes, the wind, every single asshole that passes me, and mostly I hate myself. Yes myself. When I cry myself to sleep at night because I just can't even think about getting up for the fifth weekend in a row and biking over 80 miles and following it up with a marathon long run the next day, well I just hate myself for thinking I could do this.
This is real. This is me. I don't want any comments on how I am almost there and how I will enjoy the day. I may, I may not. All too often I read race reports and training reports and people tell you how much they grew, how much they loved training, loved the race. I am being 100% honest here in saying that most days I truly hate myself and hate that I am doing this. I hate the self doubt I have because I am still not sure if I can finish. It won't be till I cross that line either that I know I could. 4 months ago I had more confidence than I do now. I am tired, I am hungry, I want a date night with my husband, I want a night out getting drunk with my friends and not worrying about a workout the next day. I want to not be in my head overthinking everything, telling myself I can't do it, imagining injuries that aren't there, and feeling so exhausted I am terrified I will be sick for my next long workout.
I won't lie. This has been life changing for me. Just not all in a good way. Training is hard. Mentally and physically. I know some people do not do the training and still finish. What I will tell you is, especially over the past 3 weeks, the amount of hours I have put in while training has to be harder than the race. I know the race will be really fucking hard I know that so please, Ironman, do not misread me here. I am just saying training is a lot of the work in earning the title here. There have been days that I want to say NO. NO more. I wanted to Tuesday. I was so damn tired and felt so weak from the weekend but I got there and did my swim. I had to cut it a little short for safety reasons but I went and tried, and I ran my entire run after completely exhausted. If for some reason I do not finish, and it will have to take something major for me to not finish, they will have to drag me off the course, I will be more proud of myself than I have ever been. For so many reasons.
I am strong right now. I am not the fastest I have been. Hell no my running is so slow. But I can last. I can bike for 6-7 hours and turn around and run and feel ok. I can run the next day for 2-3 hours and feel ok. The biggest part is I know once I start I can do the training. I may freak out but once I am out there my body just does it. Some nights I lay in bed and have panic attacks but once I am out there I can do it. When I used to give up, now I go longer. What used to be my long days now are my short days.
I have gotten to know myself. 6 hours alone in the country, well you get into your own head pretty well. I know my strengthens and I know my weaknesses. I know what I am afraid of. I know what I want out of life. I have spent so many hours alone and had so much time to just think. I quit my job and I have not once regretted it. I worked for 3 years unhappy and for once I am not stressed about work, worried how other people are going to effect me. I am excited about the possibilities that are ahead. I am nervous about them, but I know no matter what it will be better.
I know that Cory and I can last through about anything. I know he is my rock when I am at my lowest. When I have told him I am giving up, that I am done he has brought me back and helped me through a sleepless night. When all the stress from work and all the stress from training was at it's worst and I couldn't handle it and we had night after night of fighting and misery, he was able to bring me back from almost giving up. I have had many people joke about Ironman breaking up marriages and it is no joke. It is hard. He is such a strong support for me. This isn't his dream. But he is letting me have my dream and giving up a lot of his own wants for it.
So this is not a completely bad blog. Parts of this have been great. The fact that I feel stronger and I know myself and I can eat an entire pizza by myself are all great. But I won't lie and sugarcoat it. This has been the hardest thing I have ever done and maybe I am not made for this. I will make it, I want it too bad to not and I have put my freaking ALL into this year that I am too stubborn to fail. So I will hear them say Nicole, You are an Ironman. Then I will walk away a better person and eat an entire pizza and drink 6 beers. And do I absolutely know I won't do this again? Well no. My training partner Aldo may one day say he is doing one and I may have a brain lapse and decide to do another because I am just stupid. But this has not been fun and games. This has been tough shit. It is almost there. Thank gosh. I thank all the people who have put there time training with me, or just listening to be vent,cry, complain, etc. It has helped me more than you will ever know. Sept 24 can not come and go fast enough! I am sure that day will be a day I will never forget!
So I was reading on this Women's Tri Facebook page and I saw a woman post about doing her 103rd Ironman. Say what? 103? What? NO. This lady is certainly insane. I mean I am trying to do math here, so if she is 60 and she started at 30, that is 103/30...3.43 a year. Yah screw that. I am doing 1. 1 and done. She must love herself. Or hate herself. Or love pizza. Because right now I am having both feelings about myself throughout any given day.
16 hours I am up a day. 14 of them I am thinking about the Ironman. The other 2 I am shoving my face with food and still most likely thinking about it. Everything I do is Ironman. I am so sick of the word I could scream. Most people can't wait to cross the finish line and here, "You, You are an Ironman." I can't wait to cross the finish line and kiss this part of my life goodbye. Part of me is obviously joking, but mostly I am not. You know at mile 20 of a marathon you swear to god you will never do another and then you cross the finish line and can't wait till your next one. Yah no. No way. I am so over this. I want to enjoy life again. This to me is not fun. For those of you that do multiple and enjoy it, well, you guys are freaking amazing. I have had moments where I hate my bike, my shoes, the wind, every single asshole that passes me, and mostly I hate myself. Yes myself. When I cry myself to sleep at night because I just can't even think about getting up for the fifth weekend in a row and biking over 80 miles and following it up with a marathon long run the next day, well I just hate myself for thinking I could do this.
This is real. This is me. I don't want any comments on how I am almost there and how I will enjoy the day. I may, I may not. All too often I read race reports and training reports and people tell you how much they grew, how much they loved training, loved the race. I am being 100% honest here in saying that most days I truly hate myself and hate that I am doing this. I hate the self doubt I have because I am still not sure if I can finish. It won't be till I cross that line either that I know I could. 4 months ago I had more confidence than I do now. I am tired, I am hungry, I want a date night with my husband, I want a night out getting drunk with my friends and not worrying about a workout the next day. I want to not be in my head overthinking everything, telling myself I can't do it, imagining injuries that aren't there, and feeling so exhausted I am terrified I will be sick for my next long workout.
I won't lie. This has been life changing for me. Just not all in a good way. Training is hard. Mentally and physically. I know some people do not do the training and still finish. What I will tell you is, especially over the past 3 weeks, the amount of hours I have put in while training has to be harder than the race. I know the race will be really fucking hard I know that so please, Ironman, do not misread me here. I am just saying training is a lot of the work in earning the title here. There have been days that I want to say NO. NO more. I wanted to Tuesday. I was so damn tired and felt so weak from the weekend but I got there and did my swim. I had to cut it a little short for safety reasons but I went and tried, and I ran my entire run after completely exhausted. If for some reason I do not finish, and it will have to take something major for me to not finish, they will have to drag me off the course, I will be more proud of myself than I have ever been. For so many reasons.
I am strong right now. I am not the fastest I have been. Hell no my running is so slow. But I can last. I can bike for 6-7 hours and turn around and run and feel ok. I can run the next day for 2-3 hours and feel ok. The biggest part is I know once I start I can do the training. I may freak out but once I am out there my body just does it. Some nights I lay in bed and have panic attacks but once I am out there I can do it. When I used to give up, now I go longer. What used to be my long days now are my short days.
I have gotten to know myself. 6 hours alone in the country, well you get into your own head pretty well. I know my strengthens and I know my weaknesses. I know what I am afraid of. I know what I want out of life. I have spent so many hours alone and had so much time to just think. I quit my job and I have not once regretted it. I worked for 3 years unhappy and for once I am not stressed about work, worried how other people are going to effect me. I am excited about the possibilities that are ahead. I am nervous about them, but I know no matter what it will be better.
I know that Cory and I can last through about anything. I know he is my rock when I am at my lowest. When I have told him I am giving up, that I am done he has brought me back and helped me through a sleepless night. When all the stress from work and all the stress from training was at it's worst and I couldn't handle it and we had night after night of fighting and misery, he was able to bring me back from almost giving up. I have had many people joke about Ironman breaking up marriages and it is no joke. It is hard. He is such a strong support for me. This isn't his dream. But he is letting me have my dream and giving up a lot of his own wants for it.
So this is not a completely bad blog. Parts of this have been great. The fact that I feel stronger and I know myself and I can eat an entire pizza by myself are all great. But I won't lie and sugarcoat it. This has been the hardest thing I have ever done and maybe I am not made for this. I will make it, I want it too bad to not and I have put my freaking ALL into this year that I am too stubborn to fail. So I will hear them say Nicole, You are an Ironman. Then I will walk away a better person and eat an entire pizza and drink 6 beers. And do I absolutely know I won't do this again? Well no. My training partner Aldo may one day say he is doing one and I may have a brain lapse and decide to do another because I am just stupid. But this has not been fun and games. This has been tough shit. It is almost there. Thank gosh. I thank all the people who have put there time training with me, or just listening to be vent,cry, complain, etc. It has helped me more than you will ever know. Sept 24 can not come and go fast enough! I am sure that day will be a day I will never forget!
Monday, July 17, 2017
Week 21....short and sweet like Ironman training....is not.
Last year I biked 80 miles for the first time. I remember I was a mix of emotions. Exhausted, proud, depressed. This past weekend I rode 122 for the first time and all I could think was how far I have come from last year. When I started out that ride last year I wasn't sure I would make 80. This year I was almost positive unless something went wrong with my bike, I would make my goal. One major change from last year in me, confidence.
I just started week 21 of my training program. Week 21 of 30. For those of you that have trained for a marathon you know most training plans for marathons are 16 weeks. The fact I have made it this far is enough to make me proud. I will cross that finish line! I have that confidence now. I didn't know that a month ago. And tomorrow I may think I can't do it. It has been a ride...and swim and run haha. I have questioned almost every day if I have enough to do this. At the beginning of this training most days I didn't think I did. But lately I have been thinking I have it. Maybe I am just too tired to worry, too tired to debate it in my head. But the more miles I put in the more I get to know myself, the more confident I get.
It is funny what swimming 2 miles a few times a week, biking hours after hours a week, or running on tired legs, all alone, will do for a person. Each week when I begin to think I can't do the next workout because I am exhausted I start it and realize I can do it. This Sunday I was pretty tired after my long bike. I laid in bed extra late debating if I had my long run in me. I started later than normal and it was hot, I was tired, I had to walk a little more than usual. But guess what, I got it done. It wasn't fast but it was confidence building and I think when you are training for an Ironman or Marathon that is one of the most important things. It is amazing what your body can do when you quit telling your mind you can't do it.
At the beginning of this journey Cory and I made a deal. This would be the year of my Ironman, and next year I wouldn't sign up for any major race so we could travel and enjoy summer without me worrying about training. Cory has been amazing, Even when I am exhausted, crying, yelling at him telling him he isn't there for me enough and I need more, and that I should just drop this goal he lets me get it out. This past weekend he put me first, like many, and did all the stuff around the house and ran all the errands on Saturday then took me out to dinner for me to just come right home and fall asleep. Then he worked all day Sunday and took me out for ice cream that night. He is letting me have this year and I could not do it without him.
I have missed out on going out with friends, I am having problems juggling my schedule with family related activities, work, and a tough training schedule. One of my friends has asked me several times to do things and every single time I have had a long workout. I know she is hurt, but this is me right now. I knew this from the start. I joke about how I am glad the Cubs won the WS last year because I can't stay up late to watch all the games and come September I will be too busy to watch most of them. I wanted to go to a real game, I wanted to go on a brewery tour, I wanted to go somewhere and hike....I just don't have the time this year.
So training long hours, not seeing friends and family, missing out on fun summer activities with my husband, being exhausted 99% of the time....well no one said training for an Ironman would be easy! I also never expected it to be. Popular quote, "If it was easy, everyone would do it." This week I get a small break because I planned around my family reunion. I am so excited for a whole Saturday off of working out. That does mean more working out longer hours on the other days but to have a whole Saturday off right now seems like a gift! After this weekend it is just crazy until taper time.
It will be here before I know it and then it will be done and will I miss it? I don't think I will. Right now I am thinking this will be a one and done. Could I change my mind, absolutely. At this point though it is a lot. It takes a lot of hours, a lot of dedication, a lot of sacrifice. It is completely time consuming. Many other Ironman say I will change my mind, maybe it is easier for them, I am not sure how it can be haha, especially some of my elite friends who train even harder than I do.
One thing I have been struggling with is people's view of what is an Ironman. I have heard people say if you don't get a certain time, like under 14 hours, or if you don't do a certain number of them, or if the swim gets cancelled that you aren't a true Ironman. I say fuck that. I say those people are mean. I have put some many hours into becoming strong enough to even sign up, to even step foot on the start line. If I finish under 16 hours 15 minutes and never do another tri event again in my life you know what, I am an Ironman. This has already been the most daunting thing I have ever done in my entire life and I feel anyone who does this deserves that title if they finish in the allowed time.
So week 21! I am in the 3rd stage! It is freaking real! 9 weeks. A little over 2 months. HOLY CRAP!!! What am I doing? What have I done? I can't wait for this crap to be done!! Look at this my only day off training during the week and I am wasting time talking about training!!
One last thing, through the tears, stress, sore muscles, lost time, hurt feelings, anxiety, and everything else I have never been more proud and impressed with myself. I feel in shape, I feel good, I feel like I can eat the entire fridge and be ok with it!! Tonight I am going to watch the Cubs, drink a beer, have a conversation with my husband, play Frisbee with Remy (inside it is too hot out.) Tomorrow I am going to get back up and continue to kick this Ironman training's ass and grow my confidence day by day. Who knows, maybe by the end of this training I will have finally figured out the question of who I want to be when I grow up :)- 144.6, here I come!! do I get extra points for going 4 miles longer?!?
I just started week 21 of my training program. Week 21 of 30. For those of you that have trained for a marathon you know most training plans for marathons are 16 weeks. The fact I have made it this far is enough to make me proud. I will cross that finish line! I have that confidence now. I didn't know that a month ago. And tomorrow I may think I can't do it. It has been a ride...and swim and run haha. I have questioned almost every day if I have enough to do this. At the beginning of this training most days I didn't think I did. But lately I have been thinking I have it. Maybe I am just too tired to worry, too tired to debate it in my head. But the more miles I put in the more I get to know myself, the more confident I get.
It is funny what swimming 2 miles a few times a week, biking hours after hours a week, or running on tired legs, all alone, will do for a person. Each week when I begin to think I can't do the next workout because I am exhausted I start it and realize I can do it. This Sunday I was pretty tired after my long bike. I laid in bed extra late debating if I had my long run in me. I started later than normal and it was hot, I was tired, I had to walk a little more than usual. But guess what, I got it done. It wasn't fast but it was confidence building and I think when you are training for an Ironman or Marathon that is one of the most important things. It is amazing what your body can do when you quit telling your mind you can't do it.
At the beginning of this journey Cory and I made a deal. This would be the year of my Ironman, and next year I wouldn't sign up for any major race so we could travel and enjoy summer without me worrying about training. Cory has been amazing, Even when I am exhausted, crying, yelling at him telling him he isn't there for me enough and I need more, and that I should just drop this goal he lets me get it out. This past weekend he put me first, like many, and did all the stuff around the house and ran all the errands on Saturday then took me out to dinner for me to just come right home and fall asleep. Then he worked all day Sunday and took me out for ice cream that night. He is letting me have this year and I could not do it without him.
I have missed out on going out with friends, I am having problems juggling my schedule with family related activities, work, and a tough training schedule. One of my friends has asked me several times to do things and every single time I have had a long workout. I know she is hurt, but this is me right now. I knew this from the start. I joke about how I am glad the Cubs won the WS last year because I can't stay up late to watch all the games and come September I will be too busy to watch most of them. I wanted to go to a real game, I wanted to go on a brewery tour, I wanted to go somewhere and hike....I just don't have the time this year.
So training long hours, not seeing friends and family, missing out on fun summer activities with my husband, being exhausted 99% of the time....well no one said training for an Ironman would be easy! I also never expected it to be. Popular quote, "If it was easy, everyone would do it." This week I get a small break because I planned around my family reunion. I am so excited for a whole Saturday off of working out. That does mean more working out longer hours on the other days but to have a whole Saturday off right now seems like a gift! After this weekend it is just crazy until taper time.
It will be here before I know it and then it will be done and will I miss it? I don't think I will. Right now I am thinking this will be a one and done. Could I change my mind, absolutely. At this point though it is a lot. It takes a lot of hours, a lot of dedication, a lot of sacrifice. It is completely time consuming. Many other Ironman say I will change my mind, maybe it is easier for them, I am not sure how it can be haha, especially some of my elite friends who train even harder than I do.
One thing I have been struggling with is people's view of what is an Ironman. I have heard people say if you don't get a certain time, like under 14 hours, or if you don't do a certain number of them, or if the swim gets cancelled that you aren't a true Ironman. I say fuck that. I say those people are mean. I have put some many hours into becoming strong enough to even sign up, to even step foot on the start line. If I finish under 16 hours 15 minutes and never do another tri event again in my life you know what, I am an Ironman. This has already been the most daunting thing I have ever done in my entire life and I feel anyone who does this deserves that title if they finish in the allowed time.
So week 21! I am in the 3rd stage! It is freaking real! 9 weeks. A little over 2 months. HOLY CRAP!!! What am I doing? What have I done? I can't wait for this crap to be done!! Look at this my only day off training during the week and I am wasting time talking about training!!
One last thing, through the tears, stress, sore muscles, lost time, hurt feelings, anxiety, and everything else I have never been more proud and impressed with myself. I feel in shape, I feel good, I feel like I can eat the entire fridge and be ok with it!! Tonight I am going to watch the Cubs, drink a beer, have a conversation with my husband, play Frisbee with Remy (inside it is too hot out.) Tomorrow I am going to get back up and continue to kick this Ironman training's ass and grow my confidence day by day. Who knows, maybe by the end of this training I will have finally figured out the question of who I want to be when I grow up :)- 144.6, here I come!! do I get extra points for going 4 miles longer?!?
Wednesday, August 10, 2016
What Inspires You?
In case you didn't know, like you live under a rock or don't own a TV, this is Olympic week. In case you didn't know, most likely you aren't my Facebook friend or you have me on ignore and shouldn't be reading this, this is my half Ironman week too! Most of my friends are racing various other ultra distance races this weekend or in their core training weeks for their upcoming marathons. So watching the Olympics is bound to get us all pumped and ready! Isn't it something to see these athletes work so hard to accomplish their goals?
Last night while watching Phelps take on his 20th medal, I couldn't help but tear up with him. I mean 20 and he still stands there barely holding it in. What happened to you when you finally accomplished the hardest thing you have done? How did you react? How did you feel? What inspired you to train, work hard, and finish something you never thought you would do?
A few years back I had a couple friends finish their IM. I remember following them during their training. On race day I was glued to my computer waiting for updates. When they finished I cried and Cory was like, WTF Niki? Sometimes it is hard to explain, you just are so happy for them and can relate to the feeling. The feeling of knowing you just did something you have never done before and you will remember that feeling forever. You put your body through a lot and put in so many hours and you accomplish it.
So what inspired you to do it? Not everyone just wakes up and says, "hey I think I will do an Ironman this year!" I mean, unless you are Valeria that is usually not something you just decide after a mini tri! But this is Valeria we are talking about and she isn't just someone!
What made me decide to go after a half Ironman was the need to do something more. I had done a marathon and Olympic distance tri and I was hungry for another goal. When I came around to deciding to go after the full IM I think I was drunk. Haha jk. In all honesty, it scares me. It scares me admitting I am going to do it, it will scare me signing up, and it will scare me training. If I can accomplish it, and I say if because I am not sure I can, it will mean so much to me. This is the first time I have went out to do something that I am not 100% sure I can actually finish. I guess that is what inspired me to sign up. I am doing something that scares the shit out of me and that is living to me.
So I was talking to my coworker today about why people workout. We got on the topic because we were talking about where we go for a release. What makes us happy and relaxed, what gives us energy. I said running or working out. She mentioned that she works out 5 times a week and she is more tired and grouchy after. I told her I think our problem is we do not see working out as a means for release or to make us happy. We exercise to race, to lose weight, to be social, as so many do. It is hard to concentrate on the emotional benefits exercise can give you when you are focused on training and losing weight. I mean everyone does it for different reasons. I know some of my best training days are the ones when I have no goal but to just go out and do an easy run or a social bike ride with Cory. There is no pressure, no clock, no goals. Afterwards I feel happy because there was no goal other than to just have fun doing it.
So back to what inspires us, I got off track sort of....
Last night I was watching the Olympics and the announcer mentioned, in regards to the USA gymnasts, that they will be the ones that young girls want to be. Young girls will want to do what they do and be them when they grow up. I think it is great to have athletes like Olympians to be inspired by. I hope if I ever have children that they look up to an athlete like Michael Phelps, Gabby Douglas, Meb, and the many other athletes out there.
On the radio today they mentioned how these athletes are super humans. How they would like to have an average athlete out there in each event so we can see how good these people really are. To see a normal athlete in comparison to the greats! They train hard and they live for this. They are inspirational! Good for them, I only hope I can work that hard. They are inspiring and I can say it has definitely been a benefit having the Olympics the week of my half! I am pumped, so much so I can't sleep at night, I am ready to race!
But when I am struggling in the race, when I want to quit, when I am tired and just want to say F it, will I think of Phelps and get a boost? Will I think of how he pushed it past not only Le Cros but the other two athletes that were just as talented and worked just as hard but just not hard enough - you know, a second less hard haha? No, I probably won't think of any Olympian.
You see, Olympians work their asses off and I will never underestimate their talent and dedication. But they go there, they work hard, they are recognized, and their hard work is rewarded.
Think about the "Olympians" in our life. The ones who face battles daily in their life, the ones who fight just as hard and keep getting back up after being knock back down. It may not be a sprained ankle, it may not be a stress fracture, it may not be a.05 second difference between gold and silver. Because they won't be recognized, they won't stand on a podium and hear their country's anthem. They won't take home a gold medal for the battle they just fought, the accomplishment they just made, the fight they just made for their life. Those are the people that when I am feeling sorry for myself, when I am thinking I can't push harder, when I want to quit and think I have it bad, those are the people I remember. I get inspired by them! They will help me push harder and want more out of what I am doing. Because I know their battles are so much worse than my goals and if they can do it than I can surely finish my goal!
So what inspires you? I think anything that inspires anyone to just go after a goal should be recognized! Even if it is a goal to run a mile and a piece of pizza is what inspires you to push it, well, it got you out there! Go Pizza! We all do it for some reason! I think those reasons are important!
#ironmansteelhead70.3
#myheroisbatman
#runningformurelle
Last night while watching Phelps take on his 20th medal, I couldn't help but tear up with him. I mean 20 and he still stands there barely holding it in. What happened to you when you finally accomplished the hardest thing you have done? How did you react? How did you feel? What inspired you to train, work hard, and finish something you never thought you would do?
A few years back I had a couple friends finish their IM. I remember following them during their training. On race day I was glued to my computer waiting for updates. When they finished I cried and Cory was like, WTF Niki? Sometimes it is hard to explain, you just are so happy for them and can relate to the feeling. The feeling of knowing you just did something you have never done before and you will remember that feeling forever. You put your body through a lot and put in so many hours and you accomplish it.
So what inspired you to do it? Not everyone just wakes up and says, "hey I think I will do an Ironman this year!" I mean, unless you are Valeria that is usually not something you just decide after a mini tri! But this is Valeria we are talking about and she isn't just someone!
What made me decide to go after a half Ironman was the need to do something more. I had done a marathon and Olympic distance tri and I was hungry for another goal. When I came around to deciding to go after the full IM I think I was drunk. Haha jk. In all honesty, it scares me. It scares me admitting I am going to do it, it will scare me signing up, and it will scare me training. If I can accomplish it, and I say if because I am not sure I can, it will mean so much to me. This is the first time I have went out to do something that I am not 100% sure I can actually finish. I guess that is what inspired me to sign up. I am doing something that scares the shit out of me and that is living to me.
So I was talking to my coworker today about why people workout. We got on the topic because we were talking about where we go for a release. What makes us happy and relaxed, what gives us energy. I said running or working out. She mentioned that she works out 5 times a week and she is more tired and grouchy after. I told her I think our problem is we do not see working out as a means for release or to make us happy. We exercise to race, to lose weight, to be social, as so many do. It is hard to concentrate on the emotional benefits exercise can give you when you are focused on training and losing weight. I mean everyone does it for different reasons. I know some of my best training days are the ones when I have no goal but to just go out and do an easy run or a social bike ride with Cory. There is no pressure, no clock, no goals. Afterwards I feel happy because there was no goal other than to just have fun doing it.
So back to what inspires us, I got off track sort of....
Last night I was watching the Olympics and the announcer mentioned, in regards to the USA gymnasts, that they will be the ones that young girls want to be. Young girls will want to do what they do and be them when they grow up. I think it is great to have athletes like Olympians to be inspired by. I hope if I ever have children that they look up to an athlete like Michael Phelps, Gabby Douglas, Meb, and the many other athletes out there.
On the radio today they mentioned how these athletes are super humans. How they would like to have an average athlete out there in each event so we can see how good these people really are. To see a normal athlete in comparison to the greats! They train hard and they live for this. They are inspirational! Good for them, I only hope I can work that hard. They are inspiring and I can say it has definitely been a benefit having the Olympics the week of my half! I am pumped, so much so I can't sleep at night, I am ready to race!
But when I am struggling in the race, when I want to quit, when I am tired and just want to say F it, will I think of Phelps and get a boost? Will I think of how he pushed it past not only Le Cros but the other two athletes that were just as talented and worked just as hard but just not hard enough - you know, a second less hard haha? No, I probably won't think of any Olympian.
You see, Olympians work their asses off and I will never underestimate their talent and dedication. But they go there, they work hard, they are recognized, and their hard work is rewarded.
Think about the "Olympians" in our life. The ones who face battles daily in their life, the ones who fight just as hard and keep getting back up after being knock back down. It may not be a sprained ankle, it may not be a stress fracture, it may not be a.05 second difference between gold and silver. Because they won't be recognized, they won't stand on a podium and hear their country's anthem. They won't take home a gold medal for the battle they just fought, the accomplishment they just made, the fight they just made for their life. Those are the people that when I am feeling sorry for myself, when I am thinking I can't push harder, when I want to quit and think I have it bad, those are the people I remember. I get inspired by them! They will help me push harder and want more out of what I am doing. Because I know their battles are so much worse than my goals and if they can do it than I can surely finish my goal!
So what inspires you? I think anything that inspires anyone to just go after a goal should be recognized! Even if it is a goal to run a mile and a piece of pizza is what inspires you to push it, well, it got you out there! Go Pizza! We all do it for some reason! I think those reasons are important!
#ironmansteelhead70.3
#myheroisbatman
#runningformurelle
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