We have all heard the saying, "Don't let the fear of striking out keep you from playing the game." I heard it before that girly movie Cinderella coined it, but yeah, they used it too. In my case it is the fear of drowning, flying off my bike, or walking when I should be running, but you get it. Actually my fear lately is coming in last place, something I am not use to.
I had a breakdown before my Olympic Tri last weekend. I always worry before a race, usually it is about getting sick or injured. If it is a race I have done before I worry about PRing, doing worse than I did before, or not placing in my age group, etc. I am a decent runner. I do pretty well around here. I usually place in my age group, sometimes even first. If I go to a bigger race this isn't always the case, but I place pretty decently among my age and sex. For instance at the IL Marathon I placed in the half marathon 89th out of 2843 women / 389th out of 4936 total / 17th out of 379 female in the 30-34 age group. That's above average and something I have come to expect from myself. So last year at my first Olympic triathlon when I placed 10th out of 10 in my age group with only a handful of people finishing behind me overall, well yeah, I was mortified to say the least. I went instantly from being proud of myself for finishing my first Olympic Tri to being so sad about my placement that I moaned and bitched about it constantly. A year later when it came time to do my next, the bitching turned into panic.
For those of you that do not know what an Olympic Tri is, you start out with a 1500 meter swim, followed by a 24.8 mile bike, finishing with a 10k run. It is harder than it sounds....believe me :) The people I race against make it look easy. Nick Modrzejewski says something like this after we finished Sunday, "Well, I wanted to do 6:00 minute miles for the run but the weather conditions made that hard." Really...really man?! Because I can't do that in the running race let alone after I have biked and swam! He is awesome though, and for him, that is normal! Mike Bucher and Nick assured Aldo and I that are time was good. Nick even went a step above that and told us his first Olympic time was slower than ours, so there is hope for us to turn into Nick someday....haha yeah right!!
Anyway, I was full on panic the week before thinking I would come in last. I almost decided to just say F IT and not go. I even told a few people I just wanted to cross train and not do Tri's anymore. To my surprise I placed 4th out of 10 in my age group and 19th out of 40 women overall. I don't care about overall because those men and some of those women are just insane. I was proud of myself for how much I pushed myself and I got a little confidence back!
That was until yesterday.... I looked up the results from the next Olympic we are doing and we are in for a competitive race. With the time I did at this past one I will come in pretty much last. So I am once again in full panic mode thinking I do not want to do this anymore. Everyone keeps telling me that placement doesn't matter, but I think it would matter if it was them, but maybe not, it shouldn't.
Why do I do this? Why did I look at the results? Why can't I just accept this is a new adventure for me and let it be that....let it just be for fun. I am about to try something this year that most people in their life time would not even consider, may not even know exists. Why am I so hard on myself? I am competitive, we all know this :) But why can I not see that it is good enough to just finish, even if I do come in dead last.
In my group of friends we have a few that are not as fast as the others. They have even named themselves a special name for when they run together. The funny thing is, when you compare them to everyone else, they are fast. They all have run marathon's in 10:00 - 11:00 minute mile pace or under. They think this is slow?? Most people would think that is amazing. It is amazing, we just have high expectations for ourselves. Looking back to when I first started running, to think I could FINISH a marathon, to think I could swim one lap without stopping, or ride my bike 10 miles, these are all things I never thought I could do. Now I am giving myself a hard time, having panic attacks, because I am afraid of doing bad. It is rather silly. I have wrote about this before, tried to get myself over it, I am still dwelling....see?
We all have goals. We all want to be better. Why can't we accept that we are good, while we try to be better? I will probably not finish last. When I finish I will be happy for a few days and then full panic mode will set in until I finish my Half Ironman. I wish I could accept and let it sink in that I am doing something that is amazing. That we all are amazing just for getting out there and pushing ourselves.
I guess when I am being down on myself I am lucky to have amazing friends to tell me to shut the hell up! Tell me please.... Remind me that I am ok, and not to freak out! You all know me by now! Sadly we really do all hang out with amazing people who do awesome in sports that sometimes we compare ourselves instead of look at our own accomplishments. I need to remember my hardest competition is myself, and that is the competition that matters. If I am comparing myself to everyone else and putting myself down because I can't do as well as they do, I will never do as well as I can. And seriously, in this case, all that matters is me!
Wednesday, May 20, 2015
Thursday, April 16, 2015
Nah nah nah nah, hey hey hey, goodbye....
Seven years, one month, and thirteen days ago I walked into a State Farm office to start my first day of work and take the next step in my life....or finally accept that I was a grown up and working at a bar would not be pretty when I was, say 60. I was scared to death. I mean who goes from a job running around constantly with people much younger than you are to an office with two other people, one of which is your mother, where you sit all day long in front of a computer talking insurance. YAWN. However I was given the opportunity and here I am, over seven years later, a changed person. At the end of next week I will say goodbye to the job that has finally made me an adult.
As much as I am ready to run out the door, seven years is a long time. My mom worked there for 20 and the agent I first worked for worked for 40, so 7 isn't actually all that long, but for me it has been the longest job I have kept, the longest relationship I have had. I learned a lot from this experience and as much as I am ready to move on to the next, I do find myself scared, confused, sad, and just filled with anxiety as I gather my things to go.
Along the way I have gained so much. Who can say that they worked with their mother...and enjoyed it. I got to see my mom as someone other than a mom. She became my coworker, my teacher, my friend. I learned from my mom and the customers that she worked with daily that she was a hard worker, an intelligent woman, and an over the top patient and considerate person. Things I took for granted as just having her as my mother, but came to respect and use as a guide in the office environment. With the help of her, I became the hard worker I am today. When she retired a little over a year ago I was sad to see her go, but happy for her and happy to have had the chance to work with her. The customers were sad to see her go as well, which brings up my next point...
Working in an office like I do at State Farm you get to know the customers. Not just the bad, you get to know the good too. The ones you see every month, the ones that ask about your races, notice you are engaged, and generally care for you, and you for them. I have developed relationships, ones that are hard to walk away from even though it is necessary. People I know when they walk out the door this week or next that it may possibly be the last time we meet. I can't tell them goodbye due to circumstances, so to them it is just another day, but to me it is more than that.
Also while working for State Farm I have gained the knowledge of insurance. YAWN. Actually no. I mean most people actually cringe when they need to deal with insurance but now I know why it is important. I have seen it impact people lives. I have seen and dealt with total loss, the unspeakable, the unthinkable...and I know that those people had something in place to take a little of the burden away in their time of need and that makes me see that what I do helps, even if it isn't the most exciting thing.
So I may have a few tears in the next few weeks. This has been a huge change in my life. I got my degree while working at State Farm, met the man I will marry while working there, started running again and making myself healthier while working there, and grown into person I can be proud of and love. So even if I am sad, scared, etc...I am excited to see what the future holds. I hope my next step takes me to an even better experience than this one has, and even though the last year has been one of the hardest I have had, I will leave State Farm knowing that it has been a good experience in my life and has helped me grow!
Thanks State Farm and to all that helped me along the way, especially the last year!
As much as I am ready to run out the door, seven years is a long time. My mom worked there for 20 and the agent I first worked for worked for 40, so 7 isn't actually all that long, but for me it has been the longest job I have kept, the longest relationship I have had. I learned a lot from this experience and as much as I am ready to move on to the next, I do find myself scared, confused, sad, and just filled with anxiety as I gather my things to go.
Along the way I have gained so much. Who can say that they worked with their mother...and enjoyed it. I got to see my mom as someone other than a mom. She became my coworker, my teacher, my friend. I learned from my mom and the customers that she worked with daily that she was a hard worker, an intelligent woman, and an over the top patient and considerate person. Things I took for granted as just having her as my mother, but came to respect and use as a guide in the office environment. With the help of her, I became the hard worker I am today. When she retired a little over a year ago I was sad to see her go, but happy for her and happy to have had the chance to work with her. The customers were sad to see her go as well, which brings up my next point...
Working in an office like I do at State Farm you get to know the customers. Not just the bad, you get to know the good too. The ones you see every month, the ones that ask about your races, notice you are engaged, and generally care for you, and you for them. I have developed relationships, ones that are hard to walk away from even though it is necessary. People I know when they walk out the door this week or next that it may possibly be the last time we meet. I can't tell them goodbye due to circumstances, so to them it is just another day, but to me it is more than that.
Also while working for State Farm I have gained the knowledge of insurance. YAWN. Actually no. I mean most people actually cringe when they need to deal with insurance but now I know why it is important. I have seen it impact people lives. I have seen and dealt with total loss, the unspeakable, the unthinkable...and I know that those people had something in place to take a little of the burden away in their time of need and that makes me see that what I do helps, even if it isn't the most exciting thing.
So I may have a few tears in the next few weeks. This has been a huge change in my life. I got my degree while working at State Farm, met the man I will marry while working there, started running again and making myself healthier while working there, and grown into person I can be proud of and love. So even if I am sad, scared, etc...I am excited to see what the future holds. I hope my next step takes me to an even better experience than this one has, and even though the last year has been one of the hardest I have had, I will leave State Farm knowing that it has been a good experience in my life and has helped me grow!
Thanks State Farm and to all that helped me along the way, especially the last year!
Tuesday, April 7, 2015
March Madness should never cause a short rant...
So I joke that every March I become a basketball fan. Same as every World Series I become a baseball fan. I will never be a Football fan, I watch the Super Bowl only for the fun and commercials. I am the type of person that would much rather PLAY a sport than watch it. Does that mean I am not a fan, um... NO. I have the teams I like, teams I have liked since I was a child. Most of the time I have a vague awareness of how these teams are doing, but I am not one to plant myself for hours in front of the tube to watch these teams. Now give me tickets to a baseball, basketball, soccer, and most definitely hockey game, I am there.
So when I was asked certain questions about "liking basketball" all the sudden during the tournament, I was kind of offended. I am obviously a sports girl, so just because I am not up on the latest scoreboard stats, why is it so damn surprising that I am cheering for a team. Yes I tend to only get involved when it is a big tournament, but that doesn't mean I do not like my teams. So having to explain why I wanted to watch a certain game or why I liked the teams I did, sort of offended me. So what if I picked Notre Dame and Michigan State to play in the finals. Yes it was a pretty silly pick, but they both played like winning teams at times in the tournament. I have my own reasons for picking and liking the teams I do, frankly which is only my business, but I will explain why when asked. It just shouldn't be that surprising that someone who spend 6 days a week, sometimes 2 times a day working out, would like sports.
However... Lots of my friends are year long runners. We have ourselves a laugh every March when the seasonal runners return to the streets. We joke about how the real runners have been running outside all winter. I even got a little annoyed this past month when the seasonal swimmers returned to the Y to swim, taking up the lanes. I was pissed because I was there all winter swimming and now the are back crowding the place. Quick to judge people, just like those people were quick to judge me. I guess I should listen to my own rant haha. I mean, I do not really know why these people do not sport all year round, there could be a number of reasons, frankly which are none of my business, but I shouldn't judge.
That is really all this is about. Silly perhaps but all the same, you really shouldn't be surprised by information you do not know about a person, that is not really your business to know, guess, judge, etc....
I mean, I like serial killer books, movies, etc.... but do not be surprised if I am passed a romantic comedy once in awhile and happen to enjoy it!
I am currently looking at my bird feeder and laughing because it is being shared by a squirrel and a bird. I guess if they can find a way to share a small feeder and let each eat in peace without questioning, we should accept as a world that we may not know people the way we think we do, and we should not be so quick to judge.
On that note....thank god basketball is over. Duke sucks! Go CUBS!!!
So when I was asked certain questions about "liking basketball" all the sudden during the tournament, I was kind of offended. I am obviously a sports girl, so just because I am not up on the latest scoreboard stats, why is it so damn surprising that I am cheering for a team. Yes I tend to only get involved when it is a big tournament, but that doesn't mean I do not like my teams. So having to explain why I wanted to watch a certain game or why I liked the teams I did, sort of offended me. So what if I picked Notre Dame and Michigan State to play in the finals. Yes it was a pretty silly pick, but they both played like winning teams at times in the tournament. I have my own reasons for picking and liking the teams I do, frankly which is only my business, but I will explain why when asked. It just shouldn't be that surprising that someone who spend 6 days a week, sometimes 2 times a day working out, would like sports.
However... Lots of my friends are year long runners. We have ourselves a laugh every March when the seasonal runners return to the streets. We joke about how the real runners have been running outside all winter. I even got a little annoyed this past month when the seasonal swimmers returned to the Y to swim, taking up the lanes. I was pissed because I was there all winter swimming and now the are back crowding the place. Quick to judge people, just like those people were quick to judge me. I guess I should listen to my own rant haha. I mean, I do not really know why these people do not sport all year round, there could be a number of reasons, frankly which are none of my business, but I shouldn't judge.
That is really all this is about. Silly perhaps but all the same, you really shouldn't be surprised by information you do not know about a person, that is not really your business to know, guess, judge, etc....
I mean, I like serial killer books, movies, etc.... but do not be surprised if I am passed a romantic comedy once in awhile and happen to enjoy it!
I am currently looking at my bird feeder and laughing because it is being shared by a squirrel and a bird. I guess if they can find a way to share a small feeder and let each eat in peace without questioning, we should accept as a world that we may not know people the way we think we do, and we should not be so quick to judge.
On that note....thank god basketball is over. Duke sucks! Go CUBS!!!
Sunday, March 1, 2015
The grass is greener on my side, just not today...
We have all been told, the grass isn't always greener on the other side, someone has it worse off than you. In running you are always reminded that someone is always slower, faster, stronger, etc. I have been thinking a lot about running lately. Usually when I am thinking about it I am also feeling sorry for myself because I am still dealing with my injury. The injury that everyone has to be sick of hearing about because I am sick of typing it. I am sure if that app popped up trying to find the words most associated with my Facebook page, injury, running, bacon, and serial killers would pop up. What is wrong with me... I scare myself.
So up until 2 weeks ago I was coming along fine with my marathon training. Everything felt good. I was training smart, not running too much. Do you ever have that moment where you know you did something you are going to regret? I don't mean eating another piece of cake, or having too many beers and wondering if you should have kissed you know who, I mean that moment when the run felt so damn good but you know you are going to regret it later? I had that.
So I had to run 16 by myself. Miles, yes 16 miles for my non running friends. I know I have like 5 of them :) It was 5pm when I started, I was hungry, cold, and wanted it done. I started the first 6 miles out a little fast but they felt ok. My longer runs are supposed to be at 9:00 pace but I run with Michele and well, we always go faster. (Always the competitive ones aren't we!) Anyway I was hitting about 8:40 pace. After the first 10 I took a honey stinger waffle break and headed back out just wanted to get the 6 done. Well, I did, in record pace.... I would later tell people that the following week when doing my 18 mile run I looked at my watch at 15 miles and was only 2 minutes slower than what I had ran the 16 miles the week before. Yeah. I ran too fast. Most of the time this is a great thing, but when you are training for a marathon, you need to train right. My body basically thought it ran a marathon. I did not give it time to recover after that, and the pain started...
My hamstring started warning me, it was tight for a few days. I kept running hoping it would go away but it only got worse and hurt enough I couldn't walk correctly let alone run. I was smart at this point, iced and took sometime off only to find out that my hip was hurting again. Not sure if there was/is a correlation, since all my pain is on my right side, but it is a definite warning. When the hip speaks I listen. I mean, it has obviously had a mind of its own for 1.5 years now and it demands to be heard. F@*K!!
Anyway. I had a few days of feeling sorry for myself. A few tears, a few eye rolls from Cory, a few worries from my mom, and a few "not this again" for my friends. I was pissed, not gonna lie. In 2014, I listened to my friends successes, their PRs, and I was a good sport. Damnit it is my time to shine. It is someone else's turn to have an injury (just none of my friends please). About this time I saw a Facebook post from a friend that said something special was gonna take place at the armory last Wednesday night. Another friend said he was going to the armory to watch a certain girl we all love run. What? Come again?? Did you say Murelle is running? When did I miss this? Oh yeah I was wallowing in my own self pity, that's when I missed it. Well, since I couldn't run there is no one in the world I would rather see run again than Murelle. You got that right, I would pick her to see run over myself, over Meb, over anyone.
And she ran. And it was the most heart warming, inspirational experience I have had in a long time. It changed my attitude completely. For a girl who is only 15, she has been through more than most of us will go through in a lifetime, and come out on the other side running with a smile.
I was driving home after that, my heart full, my mind at ease for the first time in days, and I realized, it could be a lot worse. I can still run, maybe not as far as I want, but hey, to be honest, I did not really like the long runs anyway. Funny. I was so upset that I would not be able to do the marathon but when I actually stopped and thought about it, I did not even care. I enjoy speed work, and tempo runs. I enjoy swim training with Mike (even when I swallow a ton of water), and I enjoy long grueling trainer sessions while watching Blacklist or some serial killer show. I even enjoy strength and core. But when I wake up and have a long run it just annoys me to death. I had a goal and when my goal was disturbed I got mad. That was why I was feeling sorry for myself. Isn't that ridiculous?
So I want to thank Murelle again. Thank you for being the person you are. The inspiration in all our lives. When someone asks me who my hero is, I do not say Meb, Kara, Paula, or one of the other top runners, I say Murelle. She has taught me more than any of those people have ever taught me. Mainly, that my life is great. Obstacles come and go, some are harder than others. Each of us have battles, but it is how we come out of the battle that defines us. Do I want to come out complaining and feeling sorry for myself, or do I want to come out running, with a smile, and a 100 people shouting my name with tears in their eyes because I have brought hope to their hearts. Yeah, I think I will choose Murelle's way....
The grass is greener on my side, sometimes I just need to dig through a foot of snow to remember...
So up until 2 weeks ago I was coming along fine with my marathon training. Everything felt good. I was training smart, not running too much. Do you ever have that moment where you know you did something you are going to regret? I don't mean eating another piece of cake, or having too many beers and wondering if you should have kissed you know who, I mean that moment when the run felt so damn good but you know you are going to regret it later? I had that.
So I had to run 16 by myself. Miles, yes 16 miles for my non running friends. I know I have like 5 of them :) It was 5pm when I started, I was hungry, cold, and wanted it done. I started the first 6 miles out a little fast but they felt ok. My longer runs are supposed to be at 9:00 pace but I run with Michele and well, we always go faster. (Always the competitive ones aren't we!) Anyway I was hitting about 8:40 pace. After the first 10 I took a honey stinger waffle break and headed back out just wanted to get the 6 done. Well, I did, in record pace.... I would later tell people that the following week when doing my 18 mile run I looked at my watch at 15 miles and was only 2 minutes slower than what I had ran the 16 miles the week before. Yeah. I ran too fast. Most of the time this is a great thing, but when you are training for a marathon, you need to train right. My body basically thought it ran a marathon. I did not give it time to recover after that, and the pain started...
My hamstring started warning me, it was tight for a few days. I kept running hoping it would go away but it only got worse and hurt enough I couldn't walk correctly let alone run. I was smart at this point, iced and took sometime off only to find out that my hip was hurting again. Not sure if there was/is a correlation, since all my pain is on my right side, but it is a definite warning. When the hip speaks I listen. I mean, it has obviously had a mind of its own for 1.5 years now and it demands to be heard. F@*K!!
Anyway. I had a few days of feeling sorry for myself. A few tears, a few eye rolls from Cory, a few worries from my mom, and a few "not this again" for my friends. I was pissed, not gonna lie. In 2014, I listened to my friends successes, their PRs, and I was a good sport. Damnit it is my time to shine. It is someone else's turn to have an injury (just none of my friends please). About this time I saw a Facebook post from a friend that said something special was gonna take place at the armory last Wednesday night. Another friend said he was going to the armory to watch a certain girl we all love run. What? Come again?? Did you say Murelle is running? When did I miss this? Oh yeah I was wallowing in my own self pity, that's when I missed it. Well, since I couldn't run there is no one in the world I would rather see run again than Murelle. You got that right, I would pick her to see run over myself, over Meb, over anyone.
And she ran. And it was the most heart warming, inspirational experience I have had in a long time. It changed my attitude completely. For a girl who is only 15, she has been through more than most of us will go through in a lifetime, and come out on the other side running with a smile.
I was driving home after that, my heart full, my mind at ease for the first time in days, and I realized, it could be a lot worse. I can still run, maybe not as far as I want, but hey, to be honest, I did not really like the long runs anyway. Funny. I was so upset that I would not be able to do the marathon but when I actually stopped and thought about it, I did not even care. I enjoy speed work, and tempo runs. I enjoy swim training with Mike (even when I swallow a ton of water), and I enjoy long grueling trainer sessions while watching Blacklist or some serial killer show. I even enjoy strength and core. But when I wake up and have a long run it just annoys me to death. I had a goal and when my goal was disturbed I got mad. That was why I was feeling sorry for myself. Isn't that ridiculous?
So I want to thank Murelle again. Thank you for being the person you are. The inspiration in all our lives. When someone asks me who my hero is, I do not say Meb, Kara, Paula, or one of the other top runners, I say Murelle. She has taught me more than any of those people have ever taught me. Mainly, that my life is great. Obstacles come and go, some are harder than others. Each of us have battles, but it is how we come out of the battle that defines us. Do I want to come out complaining and feeling sorry for myself, or do I want to come out running, with a smile, and a 100 people shouting my name with tears in their eyes because I have brought hope to their hearts. Yeah, I think I will choose Murelle's way....
The grass is greener on my side, sometimes I just need to dig through a foot of snow to remember...
Thursday, January 15, 2015
Ironman Training really means Ironman Eating....
So here I am, almost finished with my second week of training for the Illinois Marathon, which is going towards training for the Racine Half Ironman in July. I remember saying a year ago in a SWRC newsletter article how I would NEVER participate in triathlons. This is why Cory rolled his eyes at me when I said that. He knew. He knows I am stubborn. I found a way to get around the doctor's suggestion of not doing running races. HAHAHA! Yah. This is going to be a little harder. So stubborn as I am, I have my work cut out for me.
So far though, I am enjoying eating, I mean training... I do eat ALL THE TIME. I am not into actual heavy duty training yet. I hate to see the grocery bill then. Seriously, what's up with all these skinny triathletes? Do they not have the appetite I do? They obviously have a secret because when I am not working out I am eating or sleeping. I have gained back 4 of the 4 pounds I lost. Yep all 4 dammit. Here is when you tell me it is muscle and I tell myself that too, but really, it has been two weeks so I think it may be the 15 meals I eat a day, just saying. Haha.
So besides that side effect, it is seriously going well. For the marathon I am using a plan from a book a few friends suggested. The book is my new best friend. Seriously I take it everywhere, It basically is a guideline for every workout. My buddy Aldo gave me the best gift last night and told me there is an APP for the book!! There is an APP for everything! So now I will just carry my phone around and that works because I do that anyway! So this book, Run Less Run Faster, gives you a plan that you run 3 days a week and do 2 cross training days. I added in another cross training and a strength and core workout, which the book says is ok to do. Now I am sure all my running buds are thinking that this is a doomed plan because that won't give me enough mileage. We will see, but besides the people who I know made it through with this plan and that I idolize, many others have said this plan works and works well!
So for the plan you base off a recent 5k time, and the book gives you charts for all your runs. The three runs emphasize quality over quantity so there are no wasted (fun/recovery) runs. They refer to them as wasted miles. I am a runner so that term I didn't really care for, but understand what they mean. Instead of doing a slow easy recovery run, they fill it with cross training. This works well for me since I am supposed to be doing just that :)!!
My week looks a little like this:
Monday: Swim Training. Late last year I happened to be wearing my Stoneman Sprint swim cap one day at the Y when another swimmer asked me how the tri went. Since then Mike Hall and I have become friends and he has given me great advice and even takes the time to teach me some swim drills. He has his hands full, I am stubborn and my damn elbows do not want to do what they should haha! But he has taught me some drills that I practice (they are hard) and I can't wait till I can start swimming as fast as him! Because I will Mike. You just wait ;)
Tuesday: Speed work. First week was 3 x 1600 at 7:02 pace. Second week was 4 x 800 at 6:42 pace. I swear on the treadmill I feel like I am sprinting. I have a feeling I may fly off of it one of these times!! They are supposed to be challenging though and I can tell they will help me in the long run. Heehee get it, see what I did there? Long run! haha!
Wednesday: Spin and Core day. The book gives me some spin workouts that making spinning just a little more tolerable. Now a 30 minute spin only feels like an hour of history class with a monotone teacher instead of 3 hours. After spin I do some planks, bridges, dead bugs, etc.
Thursday: My double workout day. In the mornings I practice swim drills and do a combination of swimming and kick boarding activities I get from the book. The evenings I do a tempo run. The first week was hard. I was exhausted from work and working out and eating. I had to do 2 easy miles, then 2 at 7:30 pace (yah sure I did 7:47 on the treadmill) and then 2 easy again. I hated that day more than any day so far. This week my swim went well and for the run I had 1 mile warm up, 5 at marathon pace which is 8:50 , and 1 mile cool down. I ran with my bud Aldo, who is also starting the plan I am using so that is super awesome, and we averaged 9:00 for all 7 miles so we called that a win since there was random ice patches and cars that wouldn't share the road! This run went well!!
Friday: Day off. Yes I get a day off and yes I am taking it. I will eat A LOT and drink a beer and enjoy every minute of it.
Saturday: The "man I wish I didn't eat so much all week before my Long Run" day. Yes this is the long run day. The book gives you different paces but since I am a pace leader for a training group I am sticking with 9:00 minute pace. The book gives two long run plans. One is super easy and the other has 5 - 20 mile days. I am going somewhere in the middle because the easy plan is too easy and I am crazy but I am not crazy enough to do 5 - 20 mile days, are you serious?
Sunday - easy spin warm up or jump rope and strength training.
Then it starts all over.
I am keeping a journal of how I feel, what I eat (this part is only what I eat while working out because they do not make a book that big), and how my workout goes. I am seriously enjoying it so far. Some days I wake up and want to shut my alarm off but I know this is NO WHERE even close to what I will have to do for the full IM so I better get my butt in gear. Actually my IM friends probably do this plan when they are not training, right Mike?? haha!
The one thing I was seriously worried about was being alone for this training. I missed my crazy friends a lot last year while I was out with my hip stress fracture. It has been the opposite. Almost all my workouts I have had a friend join. V came to swim, Mike is there for half of my swims and my speed works, Cory rows while I spin and do strength / core, and Aldo and Michele have also ran with me. My SWRC and Y friends are there on the other times! I think this is good for me. I think this is the start of a wonderful thing! If I could just stop eating! and BEST OF ALL......
NO HIP PAIN!
See you in a few weeks..... :)
So far though, I am enjoying eating, I mean training... I do eat ALL THE TIME. I am not into actual heavy duty training yet. I hate to see the grocery bill then. Seriously, what's up with all these skinny triathletes? Do they not have the appetite I do? They obviously have a secret because when I am not working out I am eating or sleeping. I have gained back 4 of the 4 pounds I lost. Yep all 4 dammit. Here is when you tell me it is muscle and I tell myself that too, but really, it has been two weeks so I think it may be the 15 meals I eat a day, just saying. Haha.
So besides that side effect, it is seriously going well. For the marathon I am using a plan from a book a few friends suggested. The book is my new best friend. Seriously I take it everywhere, It basically is a guideline for every workout. My buddy Aldo gave me the best gift last night and told me there is an APP for the book!! There is an APP for everything! So now I will just carry my phone around and that works because I do that anyway! So this book, Run Less Run Faster, gives you a plan that you run 3 days a week and do 2 cross training days. I added in another cross training and a strength and core workout, which the book says is ok to do. Now I am sure all my running buds are thinking that this is a doomed plan because that won't give me enough mileage. We will see, but besides the people who I know made it through with this plan and that I idolize, many others have said this plan works and works well!
So for the plan you base off a recent 5k time, and the book gives you charts for all your runs. The three runs emphasize quality over quantity so there are no wasted (fun/recovery) runs. They refer to them as wasted miles. I am a runner so that term I didn't really care for, but understand what they mean. Instead of doing a slow easy recovery run, they fill it with cross training. This works well for me since I am supposed to be doing just that :)!!
My week looks a little like this:
Monday: Swim Training. Late last year I happened to be wearing my Stoneman Sprint swim cap one day at the Y when another swimmer asked me how the tri went. Since then Mike Hall and I have become friends and he has given me great advice and even takes the time to teach me some swim drills. He has his hands full, I am stubborn and my damn elbows do not want to do what they should haha! But he has taught me some drills that I practice (they are hard) and I can't wait till I can start swimming as fast as him! Because I will Mike. You just wait ;)
Tuesday: Speed work. First week was 3 x 1600 at 7:02 pace. Second week was 4 x 800 at 6:42 pace. I swear on the treadmill I feel like I am sprinting. I have a feeling I may fly off of it one of these times!! They are supposed to be challenging though and I can tell they will help me in the long run. Heehee get it, see what I did there? Long run! haha!
Wednesday: Spin and Core day. The book gives me some spin workouts that making spinning just a little more tolerable. Now a 30 minute spin only feels like an hour of history class with a monotone teacher instead of 3 hours. After spin I do some planks, bridges, dead bugs, etc.
Thursday: My double workout day. In the mornings I practice swim drills and do a combination of swimming and kick boarding activities I get from the book. The evenings I do a tempo run. The first week was hard. I was exhausted from work and working out and eating. I had to do 2 easy miles, then 2 at 7:30 pace (yah sure I did 7:47 on the treadmill) and then 2 easy again. I hated that day more than any day so far. This week my swim went well and for the run I had 1 mile warm up, 5 at marathon pace which is 8:50 , and 1 mile cool down. I ran with my bud Aldo, who is also starting the plan I am using so that is super awesome, and we averaged 9:00 for all 7 miles so we called that a win since there was random ice patches and cars that wouldn't share the road! This run went well!!
Friday: Day off. Yes I get a day off and yes I am taking it. I will eat A LOT and drink a beer and enjoy every minute of it.
Saturday: The "man I wish I didn't eat so much all week before my Long Run" day. Yes this is the long run day. The book gives you different paces but since I am a pace leader for a training group I am sticking with 9:00 minute pace. The book gives two long run plans. One is super easy and the other has 5 - 20 mile days. I am going somewhere in the middle because the easy plan is too easy and I am crazy but I am not crazy enough to do 5 - 20 mile days, are you serious?
Sunday - easy spin warm up or jump rope and strength training.
Then it starts all over.
I am keeping a journal of how I feel, what I eat (this part is only what I eat while working out because they do not make a book that big), and how my workout goes. I am seriously enjoying it so far. Some days I wake up and want to shut my alarm off but I know this is NO WHERE even close to what I will have to do for the full IM so I better get my butt in gear. Actually my IM friends probably do this plan when they are not training, right Mike?? haha!
The one thing I was seriously worried about was being alone for this training. I missed my crazy friends a lot last year while I was out with my hip stress fracture. It has been the opposite. Almost all my workouts I have had a friend join. V came to swim, Mike is there for half of my swims and my speed works, Cory rows while I spin and do strength / core, and Aldo and Michele have also ran with me. My SWRC and Y friends are there on the other times! I think this is good for me. I think this is the start of a wonderful thing! If I could just stop eating! and BEST OF ALL......
NO HIP PAIN!
See you in a few weeks..... :)
Sunday, December 28, 2014
The Proposal!
So I guess I should give some background... some more words to keep you all in suspense, haha. It will all make more sense if I give some background to it. Explain Cory and myself to you all.
Most people questioned Cory and me as a couple when we first started dating. We are different in many ways. He is quiet, intelligent, mysterious, and shy. He is very introverted. He keeps to himself, thinks about everything he says and does, and is perfectly happy spending a Saturday night with a good book or movie, or studying on his computer. I am the complete opposite...as most of you know! :) I am loud, funny, an open book. I say how I feel, show how I feel, YELL how I feel! I am very extroverted, and I love nothing more to surround myself with friends and family. I am perfectly happy spending my Saturday night hanging out with friends singing karaoke, playing games with friends, having a movie night with friends. I love to be with people. So yah, you would think we couldn't be more opposite. Oddly, opposite is how we work. Strangely, if you look past all of that, we have a lot in common.
I think people are quick to judge a person. Never judge a book by it's cover, a day by it's morning sky, a person by their color, or a couple by their traits. I think one of the most interesting things about our relationship is how different we are when it is just us, or when we are with just our families. I have often fought with Cory because we go out and people find him rude, or ask if he doesn't like them. I will sometimes still get upset, but I have to remind myself that we are different.
So in order to understand the proposal more, to understand us more, I want to give some background. When I told Cory I was writing this, he asked me why? Why was I writing about it, he didn't do it in anyway special. That is where he is so wrong. I am not the type of girl who wants to be asked on top a mountain, on a nice trip, or at a planned place where everything is planned perfectly to the minute. That is not me. I wanted simple and from the heart. I got a simple proposal in a way but there was so much more behind it that it meant more to me than any grand gesture would have meant to another. I have always told Cory, I don't care about the ring, I just want us to be together. Hell I never wear jewelry besides my running watch! I once joked he could propose to me with a new running watch and I would be more than happy. Well, I got the watch, and a beautiful ring to go with it. He remembers the details. He listens to what I say. That is very important to me, it means the most to me.
So how we met... I am getting there people be patient :) We met at a bar. HAHA right! I know I know, you won't meet the man you are going to marry in a bar. I did heehee! I worked at a local bar and we both played on a pool league. One night I was sitting at the bar with my phone in my pocket and it kept falling out. The fourth time it fell he leaned over and suggested I put it elsewhere and he smiled. He has a really nice smile. Right Lisa DeAngelis and Ashley Gossett Merder?! We talked about his smile a lot in the next few weeks haha! I had to ask him out in the next few weeks. He later told me he never would have because he was too shy. He did all the things guys just don't really do anymore. He opened my door, pulled out my chair, ordered my dinner for me. He amazed me. He wouldn't answer his damn phone though haha. But after a few months I already knew I was in love. After two years we moved in together! And now, a few months short of 6 years, we are finally engaged. He is the first person I have ever dated that I feel 100% comfortable around. I remember when we first met I would barely eat in front of him. Most nights now I eat more than him and he probably wants that shy girl back that doesn't take down so much food! I also feel completely open telling him how I feel, what I am worried about, when he drives me absolutely crazy, etc. He is by definition a best friend and I would take nothing less in the man I want to marry. I can tell him anything and know it is safe. I feel completely safe. Every night before bed we have a cute routine. REMEMBER THIS! I say, "I love you baby." He says, "I love you too." I say, "I love you more!" He says, "Probably..." Such the romantic!
Ok. Almost there. Just one more detail.... Every Christmas my family does our celebration on Christmas Day. We come back from Cory's parents and head over to mine for dinner, gift exchanging, and spending time together. My brother Tom is known for his jokes. The past few years he has given Cory a selection of funny shirts. The one last year, "Nothing For You Whore!" with Santa pointing a finger. Cory just finds Tom hilarious. I love my family because we always have fun. Whether we are re gifting rocks (where it all started with my grandpa and aunt and mom) or giving Tom a mysterious Twinkie, or getting scratch off tickets from Santa every year and no one will fess up to who is Santa. This year, I wanted to get Tom back so I made Cory, much to his dislike, wear the shirt he got last year. My family thought it was hilarious! And though we didn't up Tom this year, the thing Tom did this year is so bad I cannot even post it on here, it was a fun thing to do. Probably not the outfit Cory had planned to wear to propose to me in though! In my defense how was I suppose to know? But hey, it makes for the perfect memory!
THE PROPOSAL! Finally. About time geez!
So we pass out all the gifts and open them one at a time so everyone can see what each other got. I was about to open my last gift when another open appeared in the wrapping paper we had wrapped all our gifts in. I looked at Cory and he told me he brought a gift from home for me to open. I was confused but hey another gift woohoo. So I open it and my nephew Jarod keeps playing with me and trying to help unwrap it. I open it up and it is a wooden block that says LOVE YOU MORE on it. I was all happy because it meant something but wondering at the same time why he was having me open this at my parents when I look up and he is getting down on one knee (in the bad santa shirt poor guy) with a ring box and he asks me to marry him. I said yes, of course, we shared some tears, and everyone clapped! He put the ring (very over sized haha) on me and then I was explained the story about how he had asked my father to lunch and asked him for his blessing and that my mom knew because she had seen the text from Cory. I was shocked my mom kept the secret! I am glad she did though, I was completely shocked and it made the whole thing perfect. What did I say about Cory earlier, he does everything old school...and I love it.
We have not picked out a date! People keep asking! Most likely if you are reading I will let you know :) Last night I was telling him who I planned for my maid of honor and who I wanted to stand up with me, etc. I joked with him that I bet he wished he hadn't asked me! I know he is glad that he did.
And there it is! Nothing extravagant but perfect in my eyes!
Most people questioned Cory and me as a couple when we first started dating. We are different in many ways. He is quiet, intelligent, mysterious, and shy. He is very introverted. He keeps to himself, thinks about everything he says and does, and is perfectly happy spending a Saturday night with a good book or movie, or studying on his computer. I am the complete opposite...as most of you know! :) I am loud, funny, an open book. I say how I feel, show how I feel, YELL how I feel! I am very extroverted, and I love nothing more to surround myself with friends and family. I am perfectly happy spending my Saturday night hanging out with friends singing karaoke, playing games with friends, having a movie night with friends. I love to be with people. So yah, you would think we couldn't be more opposite. Oddly, opposite is how we work. Strangely, if you look past all of that, we have a lot in common.
I think people are quick to judge a person. Never judge a book by it's cover, a day by it's morning sky, a person by their color, or a couple by their traits. I think one of the most interesting things about our relationship is how different we are when it is just us, or when we are with just our families. I have often fought with Cory because we go out and people find him rude, or ask if he doesn't like them. I will sometimes still get upset, but I have to remind myself that we are different.
So in order to understand the proposal more, to understand us more, I want to give some background. When I told Cory I was writing this, he asked me why? Why was I writing about it, he didn't do it in anyway special. That is where he is so wrong. I am not the type of girl who wants to be asked on top a mountain, on a nice trip, or at a planned place where everything is planned perfectly to the minute. That is not me. I wanted simple and from the heart. I got a simple proposal in a way but there was so much more behind it that it meant more to me than any grand gesture would have meant to another. I have always told Cory, I don't care about the ring, I just want us to be together. Hell I never wear jewelry besides my running watch! I once joked he could propose to me with a new running watch and I would be more than happy. Well, I got the watch, and a beautiful ring to go with it. He remembers the details. He listens to what I say. That is very important to me, it means the most to me.
So how we met... I am getting there people be patient :) We met at a bar. HAHA right! I know I know, you won't meet the man you are going to marry in a bar. I did heehee! I worked at a local bar and we both played on a pool league. One night I was sitting at the bar with my phone in my pocket and it kept falling out. The fourth time it fell he leaned over and suggested I put it elsewhere and he smiled. He has a really nice smile. Right Lisa DeAngelis and Ashley Gossett Merder?! We talked about his smile a lot in the next few weeks haha! I had to ask him out in the next few weeks. He later told me he never would have because he was too shy. He did all the things guys just don't really do anymore. He opened my door, pulled out my chair, ordered my dinner for me. He amazed me. He wouldn't answer his damn phone though haha. But after a few months I already knew I was in love. After two years we moved in together! And now, a few months short of 6 years, we are finally engaged. He is the first person I have ever dated that I feel 100% comfortable around. I remember when we first met I would barely eat in front of him. Most nights now I eat more than him and he probably wants that shy girl back that doesn't take down so much food! I also feel completely open telling him how I feel, what I am worried about, when he drives me absolutely crazy, etc. He is by definition a best friend and I would take nothing less in the man I want to marry. I can tell him anything and know it is safe. I feel completely safe. Every night before bed we have a cute routine. REMEMBER THIS! I say, "I love you baby." He says, "I love you too." I say, "I love you more!" He says, "Probably..." Such the romantic!
Ok. Almost there. Just one more detail.... Every Christmas my family does our celebration on Christmas Day. We come back from Cory's parents and head over to mine for dinner, gift exchanging, and spending time together. My brother Tom is known for his jokes. The past few years he has given Cory a selection of funny shirts. The one last year, "Nothing For You Whore!" with Santa pointing a finger. Cory just finds Tom hilarious. I love my family because we always have fun. Whether we are re gifting rocks (where it all started with my grandpa and aunt and mom) or giving Tom a mysterious Twinkie, or getting scratch off tickets from Santa every year and no one will fess up to who is Santa. This year, I wanted to get Tom back so I made Cory, much to his dislike, wear the shirt he got last year. My family thought it was hilarious! And though we didn't up Tom this year, the thing Tom did this year is so bad I cannot even post it on here, it was a fun thing to do. Probably not the outfit Cory had planned to wear to propose to me in though! In my defense how was I suppose to know? But hey, it makes for the perfect memory!
THE PROPOSAL! Finally. About time geez!
So we pass out all the gifts and open them one at a time so everyone can see what each other got. I was about to open my last gift when another open appeared in the wrapping paper we had wrapped all our gifts in. I looked at Cory and he told me he brought a gift from home for me to open. I was confused but hey another gift woohoo. So I open it and my nephew Jarod keeps playing with me and trying to help unwrap it. I open it up and it is a wooden block that says LOVE YOU MORE on it. I was all happy because it meant something but wondering at the same time why he was having me open this at my parents when I look up and he is getting down on one knee (in the bad santa shirt poor guy) with a ring box and he asks me to marry him. I said yes, of course, we shared some tears, and everyone clapped! He put the ring (very over sized haha) on me and then I was explained the story about how he had asked my father to lunch and asked him for his blessing and that my mom knew because she had seen the text from Cory. I was shocked my mom kept the secret! I am glad she did though, I was completely shocked and it made the whole thing perfect. What did I say about Cory earlier, he does everything old school...and I love it.
We have not picked out a date! People keep asking! Most likely if you are reading I will let you know :) Last night I was telling him who I planned for my maid of honor and who I wanted to stand up with me, etc. I joked with him that I bet he wished he hadn't asked me! I know he is glad that he did.
And there it is! Nothing extravagant but perfect in my eyes!
Sunday, November 2, 2014
Two Indy Marathons, one injury, one goal, and friends for a lifetime.
I would say after yesterday I am completely recovered, but if that were true, my butt would have been at the starting line of Rattlesnake this morning. Or would it? Maybe I have learned from this past year, maybe I am more careful, maybe I decided I liked the way yesterday felt too much to go through this year again...
I had one of the slowest healing injuries. Even after a year I still feel pain after a long hard run, which is sadly normal. I hope it isn't always going to be the case, but it is a reminder to take it easy and not overdo it. A reminder we all know I need because my stubborn ass wants to keep showing up at every race I can!
Last year I signed up for the Indianapolis Marathon with many other SWRC members. It was our fall goal race and everyone I knew was either going to do the half or the full. I was put on crutches early October and told not to run the race. I had hoped to be off crutches by the race and help man the tent and cheer my fellow runners on. This was not the case. So I went anyway, crutches and all. Our hotel was about a half mile away from packet pick up and a few blocks from the start line. After crutching back from packet pick up Friday night I decided to take a cab to the start line the next morning. Granted it was dark and I was alone, I took a cab 2 blocks. 2 blocks. I am the person that gets extremely mad when I see someone drive up to their mailbox to get their mail or park at the door of a store and run in so they don't have to walk. I get extremely annoyed because seriously, how lazy can you be. Well anyway I cabbed it and if anyone wants to say anything I still have the crutches, you are more than welcome to borrow them for a day!!
But everyone knows about my injury, this post is about my come back. I had a moment that I could finally tell my hip who was boss, and it was this weekend! This Indy Marathon! My friends played a huge part in both weekends in Indy, the one I crutched, the one I ran. If any of my friends who do not run ever wonder why I love running so much, this is the time you should read what I write :)
So a year ago I was in pretty good spirits for me. I was the crazy runner. I ran every single race that came my way and I ran them fast. I remember the first race Cory came to and watched. After it he told me he did not realize I was a good runner! Haha he meant that in the best way! I finished first female overall and he was impressed, hell I was impressed! That rarely happens. But I love to race and if you race all area races you are bound to win one! I did pretty good for myself and I was proud of myself. So when a race I trained and planned on racing comes by and I can't do it, well once again I was impressed with myself because I was ok with it! My friends made me feel like I was racing with them. Marc Mills made me my own personal bib and even framed it! I was included in all the pics and they made me forget I wasn't racing.
This year I was determined to run Indy! I say run because I had no clue what shape I would be in for it, but damnit, I would show up at the start and cross the finish line. Throughout the year I had a few set backs and thought I would not be going, but as the date got closer I knew I would make it.
I was in all out freak out mode a week before. Everyone around me was sick, not really but I felt like it. I was going to get sick and not be able to go. I would be stuck at home again, defeated by Indy again. My friends, family, Cory, coworkers...they all put up with freak out Niki. I was a bit crazy haha. They kept telling me I was a healthy person and I would be fine but I wouldn't listen. But the day came to leave and I was ok. I was ready. One more obstacle I didn't plan for, the weather.
A week before the race we ran on a Saturday and it was unseasonably hot. This was not the case for the race but I am not sure what was forecasted was any better. Race time start had it at 30 degrees and 20 mph winds, the half marathoners would be running into the wind for the first 9 miles. I mean, good that the last 4 miles are with the wind and all, if you make it through the first 9! The marathoners had it worse! The night before it was even snowing. Snowing on Halloween with 30 mph winds, very funny mother nature.
We had all planned to wear shorts but brought everything. I brought everything and then some. I ended up wearing Sarah Dowd's capris though haha. We head out to the race and it is cold. Damn cold. Michele and I head over to the start line. My mood was kind of blah. I made it here but I was miserable. I was cold, uncomfortable, and just wanted it to be over. Not the Indy I had imagined for the past year. I joked with Michele that I shouldn't have been standing with her, she is much faster and I didn't want to start too fast.
After what seemed like forever, we finally start. I would like to say within a mile I warmed up, but that never happened. I was cold the entire time. I have lost all ability to pace myself. I planned to start off closer to 9 and then get faster as I went and that did not happen. I started off the first mile a little slower than 8, maybe 8:10. My next two miles were both at 8. Michele surprised me at mile 3 and told me she had "caught up" with me. I knew I was going too fast, but I felt ok. I also knew it was early and probably wouldn't last. I decided to just say screw it and stay at 8, and see how it went. Miles went by and I was actually going right with the 3:30 marathon pace group, which would put me at 1:45 for the half if i could keep up. At mile 7 the half and full split and go different directions, so the pace group I was following went bye bye. The guy at the split was not as cool as Mermaid Tricia, as a matter of fact he kindly told us at the split we would start running into more wind! Thanks a lot man! Not really. I should probably tell all my non running friends now, it is not kind to EVER say "you are almost there!" You are never almost there in a race. Not even if the finish line is around the corner. It is still FOREVER AND EVER far away so just don't ever say it!
Anyway it went through my head that if I could keep it up through 10, I would be way ahead of my goal and I could even walk! 10 came and I was definitely tired but I didn't want to walk, so I thought maybe at 11. Around 11.5 I thought I may throw up but I kept going. At 12 I wanted to and at 12.5 we turned right back into the wind and I hated every single part of that moment, but I kept running. I crossed the finish line and looked at my watch, I had actually sped up for the second half, and I was only a little over 2 minutes off my PR. I couldn't believe it. I had come so far from last year when I stood with my crutches on the sideline and watched everyone come in and finish.
For the second time in my racing life I cried. The first time was my first half marathon at Mahomet. Cory and my parents were so proud of me I just couldn't help it! I have done 2 marathons and an Olympic TRI since and didn't feel it but I felt it when I finished Indy. This was the goal I had all year, and it was mine! Time didn't matter, it was just the cherry on the top! I made it to Indy, I made it to the start, and I crossed the finish line!
My friends put up with me and stood by me when I was at my worst. I was not very easy to deal with! Ask Aldo when I went off on him because he was running fast and my hip hurt, ask Amber when I would constantly ask her for advice, or Valeria when I asked her how she dealt with not training with the group for a year. Ask my coworkers when I freaked out about getting sick, my mother when I called with constant worry, or Cory, who puts up with me daily, with it all, and still smiles when I tell him it ended up better than I could ever imagined, because he knew all along it would....
Thanks everyone, I may have made my goal, but I wouldn't have, I couldn't have, without you all. I know it was just a half, but it was my half, my goal, and it meant the world to me...
I had one of the slowest healing injuries. Even after a year I still feel pain after a long hard run, which is sadly normal. I hope it isn't always going to be the case, but it is a reminder to take it easy and not overdo it. A reminder we all know I need because my stubborn ass wants to keep showing up at every race I can!
Last year I signed up for the Indianapolis Marathon with many other SWRC members. It was our fall goal race and everyone I knew was either going to do the half or the full. I was put on crutches early October and told not to run the race. I had hoped to be off crutches by the race and help man the tent and cheer my fellow runners on. This was not the case. So I went anyway, crutches and all. Our hotel was about a half mile away from packet pick up and a few blocks from the start line. After crutching back from packet pick up Friday night I decided to take a cab to the start line the next morning. Granted it was dark and I was alone, I took a cab 2 blocks. 2 blocks. I am the person that gets extremely mad when I see someone drive up to their mailbox to get their mail or park at the door of a store and run in so they don't have to walk. I get extremely annoyed because seriously, how lazy can you be. Well anyway I cabbed it and if anyone wants to say anything I still have the crutches, you are more than welcome to borrow them for a day!!
But everyone knows about my injury, this post is about my come back. I had a moment that I could finally tell my hip who was boss, and it was this weekend! This Indy Marathon! My friends played a huge part in both weekends in Indy, the one I crutched, the one I ran. If any of my friends who do not run ever wonder why I love running so much, this is the time you should read what I write :)
So a year ago I was in pretty good spirits for me. I was the crazy runner. I ran every single race that came my way and I ran them fast. I remember the first race Cory came to and watched. After it he told me he did not realize I was a good runner! Haha he meant that in the best way! I finished first female overall and he was impressed, hell I was impressed! That rarely happens. But I love to race and if you race all area races you are bound to win one! I did pretty good for myself and I was proud of myself. So when a race I trained and planned on racing comes by and I can't do it, well once again I was impressed with myself because I was ok with it! My friends made me feel like I was racing with them. Marc Mills made me my own personal bib and even framed it! I was included in all the pics and they made me forget I wasn't racing.
This year I was determined to run Indy! I say run because I had no clue what shape I would be in for it, but damnit, I would show up at the start and cross the finish line. Throughout the year I had a few set backs and thought I would not be going, but as the date got closer I knew I would make it.
I was in all out freak out mode a week before. Everyone around me was sick, not really but I felt like it. I was going to get sick and not be able to go. I would be stuck at home again, defeated by Indy again. My friends, family, Cory, coworkers...they all put up with freak out Niki. I was a bit crazy haha. They kept telling me I was a healthy person and I would be fine but I wouldn't listen. But the day came to leave and I was ok. I was ready. One more obstacle I didn't plan for, the weather.
A week before the race we ran on a Saturday and it was unseasonably hot. This was not the case for the race but I am not sure what was forecasted was any better. Race time start had it at 30 degrees and 20 mph winds, the half marathoners would be running into the wind for the first 9 miles. I mean, good that the last 4 miles are with the wind and all, if you make it through the first 9! The marathoners had it worse! The night before it was even snowing. Snowing on Halloween with 30 mph winds, very funny mother nature.
We had all planned to wear shorts but brought everything. I brought everything and then some. I ended up wearing Sarah Dowd's capris though haha. We head out to the race and it is cold. Damn cold. Michele and I head over to the start line. My mood was kind of blah. I made it here but I was miserable. I was cold, uncomfortable, and just wanted it to be over. Not the Indy I had imagined for the past year. I joked with Michele that I shouldn't have been standing with her, she is much faster and I didn't want to start too fast.
After what seemed like forever, we finally start. I would like to say within a mile I warmed up, but that never happened. I was cold the entire time. I have lost all ability to pace myself. I planned to start off closer to 9 and then get faster as I went and that did not happen. I started off the first mile a little slower than 8, maybe 8:10. My next two miles were both at 8. Michele surprised me at mile 3 and told me she had "caught up" with me. I knew I was going too fast, but I felt ok. I also knew it was early and probably wouldn't last. I decided to just say screw it and stay at 8, and see how it went. Miles went by and I was actually going right with the 3:30 marathon pace group, which would put me at 1:45 for the half if i could keep up. At mile 7 the half and full split and go different directions, so the pace group I was following went bye bye. The guy at the split was not as cool as Mermaid Tricia, as a matter of fact he kindly told us at the split we would start running into more wind! Thanks a lot man! Not really. I should probably tell all my non running friends now, it is not kind to EVER say "you are almost there!" You are never almost there in a race. Not even if the finish line is around the corner. It is still FOREVER AND EVER far away so just don't ever say it!
Anyway it went through my head that if I could keep it up through 10, I would be way ahead of my goal and I could even walk! 10 came and I was definitely tired but I didn't want to walk, so I thought maybe at 11. Around 11.5 I thought I may throw up but I kept going. At 12 I wanted to and at 12.5 we turned right back into the wind and I hated every single part of that moment, but I kept running. I crossed the finish line and looked at my watch, I had actually sped up for the second half, and I was only a little over 2 minutes off my PR. I couldn't believe it. I had come so far from last year when I stood with my crutches on the sideline and watched everyone come in and finish.
For the second time in my racing life I cried. The first time was my first half marathon at Mahomet. Cory and my parents were so proud of me I just couldn't help it! I have done 2 marathons and an Olympic TRI since and didn't feel it but I felt it when I finished Indy. This was the goal I had all year, and it was mine! Time didn't matter, it was just the cherry on the top! I made it to Indy, I made it to the start, and I crossed the finish line!
My friends put up with me and stood by me when I was at my worst. I was not very easy to deal with! Ask Aldo when I went off on him because he was running fast and my hip hurt, ask Amber when I would constantly ask her for advice, or Valeria when I asked her how she dealt with not training with the group for a year. Ask my coworkers when I freaked out about getting sick, my mother when I called with constant worry, or Cory, who puts up with me daily, with it all, and still smiles when I tell him it ended up better than I could ever imagined, because he knew all along it would....
Thanks everyone, I may have made my goal, but I wouldn't have, I couldn't have, without you all. I know it was just a half, but it was my half, my goal, and it meant the world to me...
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